CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
People of Italian and Maltese origin are becoming increasingly aware of the fact that Nonna doesn’t give a fuck if you ate earlier, it has been confirmed.
Tony Canterella, a 32-year-old Italian-Australian plumber from Newcastle, has spoken to The Betoota Advocate today about the confronting scenes that took place in his paternal grandmother’s living-room yesterday evening – after he revealed to her that he didn’t feel he was capable of a finishing a third serving of salad and pasta.
“It was almost like she was giving me an ultimatum. Either, eat more, or die a horrible death,”
“She was actually convinced that I would die if I didn’t eat the third, and extremely generous, plate she had forced in front of me,”
Tony says the fact that he had already eaten before he arrived late to dinner at Nonna’s “didn’t mean shit” to the 82-year-old migrant matriarch.
“I’m glad my folks didn’t tell her I’d just been at dinner with my new missus because she would have demanded to meet her… and I’d have to lie and say she was Italian as well”
“She’s always worried about me not eating enough as a big strong growing boy… I’m thirty-two!” said the overweight 3rd-generation Australian.
“There’s no point trying to convince her otherwise. She’ll think I don’t like her food… Which isn’t true. I love her food, it’s the best Italian you’ll ever eat,”
“I just don’t understand why she thinks I need to eat six kilos of pasta at 10:30 PM, God love her”