Mike Baird Demands Recall On New $5 Note After Learning They Don’t Work In Pokies

"Why should we have to compromise our perfectly good stranglehold on Australia's underclass?" said one spokesman for Clubs NSW.

Mike Baird Demands Recall On New $5 Note After Learning They Don’t Work In Pokies

5 October 2016. 12:25

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

New South Wales Premier Mike Baird has demanded the Reserve Bank recall the 170 million new $5 notes that were released into circulation on September 1st.

He claims that the note, which is carrying world first anti-counterfeiting features and a design to help the vison-impaired, is being spat out by pokie machines.

“After sitting down with some advisors who aren’t in my cabinet, I’ve asked the Reserve Bank, the Royal Mint and the Turnbull Government to recall these ill-thought out notes,”

“Pokie machines are a big part of our economy and culture, and it’s been made clear to me by Clubs NSW that they simply don’t have the time to upgrade their machines,”

“Neither does the Star or Crown,”

“I don’t think we should take away our residents rights to spend the lowest amount of money possible on electronic gambling,”

“In the meanwhile, I’d suggest the punters should hold on to their old five dollar notes if they come across any,”

While supermarket chains were quick to upgrade the software on their self-service kiosks, it appears the poker machine licence holders aren’t going to budge.

“Why should we have to compromise our perfectly good stranglehold on Australia’s underclass?” said one spokesman for Clubs NSW.

“The Federal Government have once again proven that they can’t work with us. So Baird is going to have to pick up the pieces,”

“He owes us… After he closed down Greyhound Racing NSW so that Hillsong could set up their news CBD HQ in Wentworth Park.”

 

5 Responses to "Mike Baird Demands Recall On New $5 Note After Learning They Don’t Work In Pokies"

  1. Big Dave   October 7, 2016 at 9:22 am

    Baird, Hillsong, Wentworth Park ???
    How about you have your investigative department expand this story for your readers.

    Reply
  2. Terri   October 7, 2016 at 9:54 am

    Instead of worrying about whether the government is going to be impacted by pokies not taking the notes think of the benefits for blind and vision impaired.

    Reply
  3. Pudenda Non Grata   October 7, 2016 at 12:26 pm

    Dearest Ms./Mr. Clancy Overell,

    Regarding the comments of Ben Halpin, Big Dave and Terri, I weep for you. I surely do.

    We here in The Canadas have had raised dots on our Bank Notes for eons now – even before we made our paper money out of Aussie plastic. Nevertheless, the blind fucks are still easily cheated.
    All is not lost.

    http://sterculianrhetoric.blogspot.ca/2016/10/fucking-with-criminal-element.html

    Reply
  4. Tony   October 13, 2016 at 4:37 pm

    I think Mike Baird is trying to take the pressure off his ‘Grey Hound Ban’ debacle.

    Reply

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