Lyle Shelton Says He’s Enjoying His New Job Making Women Cry Outside Abortion Clinics

Lyle Shelton Says He’s Enjoying His New Job Making Women Cry Outside Abortion Clinics


After having to surrender in his fight to protect the freedom of speech of 5 million voters and the futures of all Australian children, Christian lobbyist Lyle Shelton has now started a new job berating vulnerable women outside a prominent Surry Hills abortion clinic.

After 62% of the Australian population proved how Godless they have become by voting to legalise same-sex marriage, Lyle Shelton looks to be out of work until the Safer Schools program is brought back into public debate.

“There won’t be much money coming my way for a while” he says, with a look of disappointment.

“Not after how badly the No Campaign went… Millions went into that, and the gays won anyway”

Shelton says for the time-being he’s happy telling women what to do with their bodies while waving ultrasounds and reciting religious verses – but he is hoping for another public debate over legislation that religious people care about.

“Same Sex marriage was the holy grail to be honest – but I think abortions and allegations of schoolboys being encouraged to wear dresses is also enough to strike fear into the souls of elderly Catholics” he said.

“Ka-ching [laughter]”

“It’s also worth remembering the same-sex marriage actually hasn’t been legalised yet – I reckon this free speech angle might have legs if we can get Abbott in there tabling amendments”

“For the time being I’m going to stick to yelling at 18-year-olds who have decided they don’t have the support network to raise a child on their own”


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