Local Man Didn’t Take Much From Morrison’s Budget, But Tobacco Hike Can Get Fucked

Local Man Didn’t Take Much From Morrison’s Budget, But Tobacco Hike Can Get Fucked

4 May, 2016 11:45

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

BUDGET 2016

With all this talk of tax thresholds, financial and fiscal affairs, foreign affairs and economic aid, general research, and superannuation – local man, Beau Haydon says he can’t believe the price of smokes are going up again.

“It’s rubbish mate, they are emptying our wallets and then they’ll be cheering when we drop dead,” says the 35-year-old smoke detector installer and tester.

“Imagine paying 40 bucks for a packet of smokes. That’s fucked,”

The Turnbull Government is not expecting to balance the budget until 2020-21, which is beyond the timeframe that can be accurately predicted by Treasury.

“If estimates and parameters change, we’re hostage to those events,” Federal Treasurer Scott Morrison told ABC 730, seeking to defend the Government’s record, adding “there have been many challenges in this economy, but one thing is for sure… No one gives a shit about the feelings of people who habitually smoke cigarettes. They’re pretty much modern day lepers.”

Apart from a few pre-announced savings, including the lucrative hike in tobacco taxes, and a ‘Google tax’ crackdown on multinationals, the budget appears to favour upper-middle Australia, while high-income retirees are facing a surprise hit on their earnings.

However, all political and financial jargon aside, Mr Haydon says he’s never been more offended in his “bloody life”.

“Fuck the lot of ’em. Abbott wouldn’t have ever tried to pull this shit,”

“Fuckin worry about the terrorists first before you start rippin’ into me for lighting up a bunger,”

 

 

 

3 Responses to "Local Man Didn’t Take Much From Morrison’s Budget, But Tobacco Hike Can Get Fucked"

  1. lewi   May 4, 2016 at 2:49 pm

    The government are nothing more than street drug pushers. First they got everyone hooked then they raise the price 10,000%. Whats the diff between Fed gov and an ice dealer? Nothing, it just takes longer to kill u.

    Fn drug pushers. It, s prohibition economics. What next. Are they going to jail folks for having a cigarett?

    Reply
  2. Kim   May 4, 2016 at 11:13 pm

    You think it’s bad now. Imagine what it’ll be like when there is only one smoker left to pay the national debt.

    Reply
  3. Phil   May 6, 2016 at 4:04 am

    I’m one of the Humphrey Appleby smokers that reckon we’re fucking legends. Having smoked all our lives (apart from maybe the first 9 or 10 years), we’re likely to die early and save the government an absolute fucking bomb in Aged Pension payments – not to mention the extra rooms available in old folks’ homes. We should get an OA at the very least.

    I hate those smug bastards that are too mean to buy their own and then whinge when they get a whiff of our tobacco smoke – just because it’s not their brand.

    Instead of the government taxing smokes, they should be free and on the PBL.

    What’s this country coming to? Bunch of commo’s.

    Reply

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