Local Grandpa Credits David Bowie As The Reason He Doesn’t Mind The Gays

Local Grandpa Credits David Bowie As The Reason He Doesn’t Mind The Gays

12 January, 2016 17:30


72-year-old retired railway worker, Bruce Goddard says that until he and his mates discovered the music of David Bowie – they were quite scared of the idea of gay people, and almost certain they didn’t really exist

“Mate we grew up on Elvis and Chuck Berry, we never knew there was a community of blokes out there rooting each other,”

“This was in far-west New South Wales, though,”

“There were hardly any females sticking around this town, let alone gay blokes. We always thought the local cop’s son was a bit how-ya-going – but no one ever admitted it back then,”

“That was until someone whipped out a copy of Space Oddity when we were on the piss one night, Christ almighty what a fucking album that was,”

Mr Goddard says that by the time he and his mates were informed that David Bowie was actually a ‘Horse’s Hoof’ – they were already devout fans of his music.

“We’d be playing his music every night and none of us ended up smelling like lavender. I spose he’s the reason I’ve never had a problem with the gays,”

“I don’t what we were thinking though. He used to dress up like a girl, sing like a girl and dance like a girl… but we all kept telling ourselves that he was a real player,”

Bruce says he also read somewhere more recently that David Bowie actually wasn’t gay, but by that stage he “couldn’t give a fuck”

“The old queer was making good music until the day he died. Do you think I gave a fuck about who he was rooting between albums?”

Goddard also says that an absolute highlight of his life was when David Bowie decided to visit his small country town to film the official “Let’s Dance” video clip at the Carinda Hotel in 1983.

“Mate, I was carrying on like those birds at the airport waiting for The Beatles,”

“That’s what I always say to my kids about these halfwits in Canberra. If a retired railway and steel worker from Carinda can get their head around the flamers, surely the law can,”

“I would have married Bowie whether the fucking law said I could or not,”

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