CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

None of the members of local bikie gang the Betoota Brotherhood MC have the heart to tell Sgt Matt Southwell, of the Queensland Special Police Service, that they are very well aware of the fact that he is obviously an undercover cop.

Mr Southwell was assigned to infiltrate the outlaw motorcycle club two weeks ago, and is confidently asserting his place amongst the members, unaware he gave himself away almost immediately by wearing his police-issue trousers to his first meeting.

He then confirmed all doubt after refusing to smoke marijuana, and then unwittingly leaving his hat and badge on the front seat of his Mitsubishi Magna parked outside the clubhouse.

“He pulled up with them on the fucking passenger’s seat” said a M.C member known as Muff,

“But he’s a lovely guy and we just can’t face telling him that we’re onto him – it would fucking devastate him”

“He helped me build a cubby house for me kids. And he’s been driving Alf around for months after he lost his licence.”

Club secretary, Duncs, echoed the same sentiments

“He learnt all our nicknames in a flash, and I’ve never seen anyone cut cocaine as well as him. He’s doing his best and it’s so fucking nice to see how hard he’s trying”.

While Sgt Southwell has been well-received by the gang and is fast becoming a popular member within the charter, Duncs says its a shame that they will eventually have to kill him.

“Ultimately we’ll have to shoot him in the fucking skull, sadly”

 “But we’ll put a bag over his head to avoid seeing the poor cunt’s little puppy dog face. I fucken hate goodbyes”

 

2 COMMENTS

  1. “But he’s a lovely guy and we just can’t face telling him that we’re onto him – it would fucking devastate him”

    Now that’s bloody funny

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here