CLANCY OVERELL | Editor CONTACT

A local inner-city leftie who has yet to figure out a way to monetise her medium-sized Twitter following but freelances between failing online newspapers twice a month, says she’s got fuck all to write about around this time of the year.

At 29-years-of-age, Deena Marley is too old to be up to date with the problematic musicians in Australia’s rock scene, and too sheltered to understand the ramifications that Turnbull’s new tax cuts will have on the working classes.

Aside from whispers a new TV show with Chris Lilley, an Australian blackface-enthusiast that Deena thought was a comedy genius until about 18 months ago, there is literally nothing for her to write about.

“ANZAC Day is always good for a few tweets about how the diggers were probably rapists…” she says.

“I even had some of my hot takes repurposed in a few Guardian articles, but that white whale is long gone”

As someone whose work is mostly based around research-less opinions that she forms over the course of a morning,  Australia’s ongoing detention of asylum seeker children in sweltering island prisons is a topic Deena tries to steer clear of.

“It’s like, I don’t know much about it. I don’t really wanna talk about something I don’t know much about. I couldn’t really get through all of those files they published from Nauru, the translations must have been way off”

“Plus, the corporation that runs the detention centres is a big advertiser for a lot of these newspapers. So it wouldn’t get published anyway”

Instead, she’s got to wait five months until the media cycle reminds her that Australia has a thriving horse-racing culture.

“I’m already drafting the tweet up now. It’s going to time well with all the photos of those drunk suburban bogans”

“It’s sickening that we allow people to race horses like that on Melbourne Cup Day”

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here