"Pull ya finger out Birdy"

7 May, 2015. 11:55

IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports | [email protected]

NRL's ultimate bad boy, John Hopoate getting sent to the bin for ironing out Keith Galloway's jaw with his giant Tongan elbow
NRL’s ultimate bad boy, John Hopoate getting sent to the bin for ironing out Keith Galloway’s jaw with his giant Tongan elbow

NRL’s most notorious current player, Greg Bird has this week joined a notorious list of NRL record-breakers. The top 5 most suspended players in the game.

  1. John Hopoate — 45 weeks
  2. Luke O’Donnell/Craig Smith — 32 weeks
  3. Greg Bird — 29 weeks
  4. Danny Williams — 28 weeks
  5. Jason Stevens/Adrian Morley — 26 weeks

The Gold Coast psychopath was suspended until mid-July for his blatant lifting tackle during the Kangaroos’ Test loss on Sunday.

The ban means he will miss the entire State of Origin series.

Bird pleaded guilty to a dangerous throw at the tribunal, not something he is new to

Since his NRL debut in 2002, Bird has now been outed for a total of 29 matches, making him the fourth most suspended player since the NRL was formed in 1998.

Besieged NRL star Greg Bird has been arrested after he was found to be taking a piss on an unmarked police car last night.
Besieged NRL star Greg Bird has been arrested after he was found to be taking a piss on an unmarked police car last year,

Tongan NRL patriarch John Hopoate, holds the crown NRL’s most suspended, with a massive 45 weeks. Today he has reached out to Bird, offering valuable advice.

“I reckon you’ve got a few more suspensions left in ya,”

Hopoate has stated it is one thing to be remembered as an immortal, but that is a title usually reserved for the “golden boys” or regional rugby league.

“People like me and Birdy are never getting bronze statues. We are the ones the game depends on yet we get scapegoated through the tribunal and used as examples. Don’t listen to ’em Birdy!”

John Hopoate has stated that while Greg Bird’s off-field behaviour is more than enough for him to take the crown of “Ultimate Bad Boy” – He needs to work towards racking up the penalties and suspension, on-field.

“Here we have a convicted woman-basher, brawler, alleged cocaine-user and all round fuck-up. He’s the type of guy who pisses on a cop car during his own honeymoon. He just needs to harness that energy and give it to his opponents on the field,”

"Pull ya finger out Birdy"
“Pull ya finger out Birdy”

Hopoate has stated that he would be “honoured” for Greg Bird to replace him has the most suspended player in the NRL.

“Well it sure as shit isn’t going to be my son. Will’s the best behaved player in the game,”

“I say pull ya finger out Birdy! There’s plenty more to do”

 

1 COMMENT

  1. Is this an intentional pun? If so, It’s brilliant. Hopoate knows all about pulling the finger out after inserting it where the sun don’t shine.

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