18 December, 2015 10:35
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The Australian is reporting that infamous people smuggler Han Solo has been arrested on the cloud planet, Bespin.
Han Solo has reached a level of notoriety since the early 1970’s through his work as a criminal human trafficker hampering government efforts to turn the tide of illegal refugees for several years.
Mr. Solo first made headlines after he helped religious extremist and terrorist associate Ben Kenobi and an unidentified radicalized youth in a coordinated sabotage of military property.
Both Solo and the young fundamentalist, alongside operatives from the terror cell known as the ‘Rebel Alliance’, also took part in the terrorist attack on a manned military vessel, which saw countless personnel lose their lives.
Government officials seemed pleased with the capture of Mr. Solo, though it is yet to be determined if he will stand trial for treason, with one private contractor insisting, “He is no good to me dead.”
Officials have cited the great difficulty of capturing Han Solo and his “fur-ball” associate, stating that he was considered armed and dangerous, “He tends to shoot first,” said one of government trooper involved in the efforts of bringing down Solo’s rink.
“His ability to make the Kessel Run in no less than 12 parsecs made him particularly difficult to track.”
The government has stressed the fact that terrorist leader Leia Organa is still at large, and that the arrest of Han Solo in no way diminished the rebel threat.
The news of the arrest comes as some relief for the embattled government, who have taken a serious dip in the polls after refusing marriage rights to gay droids.