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The Indigenous All Stars, Australia’s highest performing representative rugby league side is to be renamed, after One Nation Senator Pauline Hanson said there was no definition of Aboriginal in an interview on the Bolt Report.
“What defines an Aboriginal?” Senator Hanson told host Andrew Bolt.
“…if the community or the elders accept you into that community, you can be defined as an Aboriginal”
These comments have resonated around the country, with thousands of people in both the private and public sector take a break from attempting to help close a gap, because the gap is undefinable.
Local bulk-billing GP, Dr Elliot Shahade says that he can’t believe that such a large number of cases of diabetes and third-world eye infections just happen to be occurring in communities where people claim to be Aboriginal.
“It’s a weird coincidence. I wonder if it would happen to me if I pretend to be Aboriginal, would my life expectancy just drop 30 year?”
“The same goes for the record-breaking rates incarceration and child illiteracy just happen to be applied to people who, for whatever reason, decided to be Aboriginal.”
“When you look at those numbers, you’ve got to question, who the fuck would want to be Aboriginal if they had no reason to be”
However, with Pauline Hanson’s comments come bigger changes. Notably, that of the Australian Rugby League’s famous Indigenous All Stars.
The Indigenous Australian rugby league team is a rugby league football team that represents Aboriginal Australians and Torres Strait Islanders. The team was first formed in 1973 and currently plays in an annual All Stars Match against a NRL All Stars team.
However, the team is set for a name change, with the One Nation leader suggesting they go for a name that better defines the team.
NRL CEO Todd Greenberg, has today announced that the team will now be known as the “Undefined Race Of Generally Better Footballers” – but says that the also toyed with ‘Undefined Race Of Generally Darker All Stars”
“We’ve been told there is no need to be acknowledging the contribution that Aboriginal players have made to our game. Because there’s no definition to an Aboriginal”
“We’ll just pretend it’s a bunch of Laurie Daleys out there. Back before we knew he was Aboriginal but thought he might have been”
However, speaking to the Betoota Advocate today, Jonathon Thurston says he feels like he’s got plenty of definition.
“I mean… [takes off shirt]”
“Look at these abs bra”