Barnaby Joyce Rejects New Sex Icon Status

Barnaby Joyce Rejects New Sex Icon Status


Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has today spoken out about his undeniable rebrand in the eyes of the nation’s women, and some men.

Following news that the three-times-elected Member For New England is still a bit of a rooter, and evidently still firing hollow points, at 50-years-of-age, there have been numerous requests for centre-fold photo shoots from leading Australian women’s magazines.

Dubbed ‘St George Clooney’ after his time spent working on the banks of the Balonne River in South-West Queensland, Mr Joyce has today publicly addressed his reluctance to embrace ‘full sex icon status’.

“I reject this new sex icon status” he said.

“As much as I appreciate the perfume-scented letters and lipstick kisses I have been receiving at the Tamworth electoral office, I would appreciate it if I didn’t have to blush so much”

“You guys know how red I get”

This whirlwind rise to silver fox sex bomb comes after the Deputy Prime Minister reportedly laid the blame of his recent affair with a staffer Vikki Campion on his drunken decision to lather his neck with a wipe-on-sex appeal sachet.

“I am just a conservative regional man trying to uphold family values. So much so that I decided to have two families” he said.




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