ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
THE REGISTER TO VOTE DEADLINE is at 8pm on the 24th of August, leaving hundreds of thousands of Australians out in the democratic wilderness if they forget to enroll.
One of these voiceless individuals is Jackson Stollz, a 26-year-old-stay-at-home-son, who enjoys watching Monday night programming on the ABC when he can remember it’s on.
Though most of his friends regard him as being quite politically active, Stollz said he ‘couldn’t be fucked’ registering for the postal survey but he’s ‘definitely considering it’ next time around – he even posted about it on Facebook.
“I don’t usually post things like this on Facebook” his status read.
“But the politicians aren’t listening to us. There’s a detachment [continues for 20 lines]”
The only thing the Port Macquarie native hates more than a representative sporting team from Queensland is the current government, which he describes at length on his public Facebook profile as a ‘pack of lyin’ dogs’.
“You’re fucking right that I’ll be filthy if these right-wingers get their way” he said.
“It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s just that sucked mango seed Dutton and that wok-eyed Morrison who I don’t like. What ever happened to Liberal degenerates we could get around? Like that seat-sniffing trainwreck Troy Buswell? I would’ve registered to vote if I could’ve voted for that pig,”
“But like, the process is fucking complicated to register. I opened it up on my Dell and just said ‘fuck it’. All those boxes and shit, they should just fucking put us on the roll and make it easier for everyone,”
“The cunts shouldn’t fine me for missing a local election. I care more about what happens to my DNA after it goes down the shower drain than who my mayor is.”
More to come.
To participate in the survey you need to be correctly enrolled by 24 August 2017. You can check your enrolment, enrol or update your enrolment details.
Visit the ABS website or call 1800 572 113 (7 days, 8 am – 8 pm local time in Australia) for more information.