24 May, 2016. 10:32
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
THE REGISTER TO VOTE DEADLINE was at 8pm last night, leaving hundreds of thousands of Australians out in the democratic wilderness for another three years.
One of these voiceless individuals is Jackson Stollz, a 26-year-old-stay-at-home-son, who enjoys watching Monday night programming on the ABC when he can remember it’s on.
Though most of his friends regard him as being quite politically active, Stollz said he ‘couldn’t be fucked’ registering to vote this time around, but he’s ‘definitely considering it’ next time around.
The only thing the Port Macquarie native hates more than a representative sporting team from Queensland is the current government, which he describes at length on his public Facebook profile as a ‘pack of lyin’ dogs’.
“You’re fucking right that I’ll be cut if Malcolm Turnbullshit [sic] gets back into power,” he said.
“It’s not that I don’t like him, it’s just that sucked mango seed Dutton and that wok-eyed Morrison who I don’t like. What ever happened to Liberal degenerates we could get around? Like that seat-sniffing trainwreck Troy Buswell? I would’ve registered to vote if I could’ve voted for that pig,”
“But like, the process is fucking complicated to register. I opened it up on my Dell and just said ‘fuck it’. All those boxes and shit, they should just fucking put us on the roll and make it easier for everyone,”
“The cunts shouldn’t fine me for missing a local election. I care more about what happens to my DNA after it goes down the shower drain than who my mayor is.”
More to come.