1 October, 2015. 16:20
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
[dropcap]N[/dropcap]ew South Wales Liberal Premier Mike Baird has maintained significant advantages over the opposition, according to the latest state-based Morgan polls.
Political commentators put this surge in popularity down to the 47-year-old’s calculated responses to shark attacks, refugee resettlement and The Bachelor Finale. It is also believed that Baird is being aided by the fact that he rescued up to six adorable little kittens from a blazing house fire in a low socio-economic western Sydney suburb yesterday afternoon.
In NSW, Mr Baird’s Liberal-National Party Coalition government hold a 102 per cent lead over Labor in the two-party-preferred poll, a lead that become evident after the technologically-literate, good Christian boy from the Northern Beaches live-tweeted Channel Ten’s final episode of The Bachelor, to the delight of every unmarried Australian woman over the age of 23.
Newspoll statisticians have cited a “small margin of error” which would explain Baird being 2% more popular than the survey could have possibly allowed.
However, Channel Ten’s political juggernaut Andrew Bolt says this number makes perfect sense, and that it won’t be a surprise if the state is 110% behind Mike Baird in the next election.
“Look, he’s pretty unstoppable at the moment. He’s social media game is straight fire and he is a real communicator,” said Mr Bolt, who went on to explain that the Premier is at a point of his career where he could literally do anything he wanted.
“Legalizing cannabis will be a walk in the park for this bloke… If Mike Baird proposed a Whites Only Beach, he would probably be able to pull it off right now,”
“That whole house fire thing in Cabramatta yesterday was unbelievable. His timing was impeccable, and the fact that he gave those cute little kittens mouth-to-mouth… Well he’s just nailed the Asian vote,”
It is believed that Baird was visiting South-West Sydney yesterday to source out the best Vietnamese beef noodle soup for his online food blog, only to accidentally arrive at the scene of a suburban house fire.
After rescuing seven at-risk Indigenous and Muslim orphans from the first floor, Baird navigated his way through the flames to save six howling kittens sitting a second-story windowsill.
He then proceeded to successfully resuscitate both the children and the kittens on the front lawn, with CPR skills he picked up as volunteer surf lifesaver in Sydney’s Northern Beaches.
One observer says if Mike Baird wasn’t there, everyone would have died. Including the cats.
“When our Premier arrived, the firefighters who were already on the scene put down their tools to get an autograph. We nearly lost them all,” says local man Ken Hua.
“Luckily Baird was able to communicate that he was happy to stick around for autographs and selfies after they had finished helping him rescue the children and kittens,”
“He really showed some true leadership,”
The LNP leads strongly in NSW: LNP 102% cf. ALP 0%