Bill Shorten Reportedly Seen Playing ‘Panda’ While Dutching Up ALP Range Rover

"This campaign is exhausting. I just needed to get faded," he said.

Bill Shorten Reportedly Seen Playing ‘Panda’ While Dutching Up ALP Range Rover

19 June, 2016 11:00


Opposition leader, Bill Shorten has been spotted celebrating his unexpected win over Prime Minister Bill Shorten during Friday night’s leaders debate.

AAP cameras spotted the the 49-year-old politician blaring the popular trap record “Panda” by Brooklyn rapper Desiigner in his ALP campaign Range Rover yesterday afternoon while driving through Sydney.

A witness describes the atmosphere as something like a Logan City warehouse party.

“I don’t know if it was a vape, or a blunt… But something was burning in that car and it smelt loud” says Sydney council worker Craig Tolosa.

“Deadset he looked like one of my cousins that deal coke. He must be feeling like a real G after that weird facebook thing last night.”

More than 2.2 million people have watched the and Facebook Leaders’ Debate in their Facebook newsfeed on Friday, according to the latest figures, but that number is expected to climb as people catch up over the weekend.

Voters expressed their response to what the leaders were saying with 13,000 Facebook reactions, including 9200 likes and 2100 “angry” faces.

Those in the live audience judged Mr Shorten the winner, by 17 to 7.

It would appear Mr Shorten is now playing on his underdog story, by cruising through his opponents city blaring explicit rap music that includes the lyrics:

I got broads in Atlanta
Twisting dope, lean, and the Fanta
Credit cards in the scanners
Hitting off licks in the bando
Black X6, Phantom
White X6, look like a panda
Going out like I’m Montana
Hundred killers, hundred hammers

Speaking to the Betoota Advocate today, Bill Shorten MP says his choice of music was in no way a shot at Malcolm Turnbull, stating that he has been a long time fan of Desiigner’s music since he first heard him as a feature artist on Kanye West’s The Life Of Pablo.

“It actually speaks to me as a song. I have for many years enjoyed mixing codeine cough syrup with my fanta. As for credit cards in the scanners… well I often talk about the ALP spend-o-metre [laughter].


'Panda' by Brooklyn rapper, Desiigner was reportedly blaring out of Shorten's Range Rover

In 2015, Mr Shorten was accused of bullying within the Labor Party after he berated Penny Wong for ‘bum-puffing’ a cigar-paper-blunt at a Union function in Bendigo. The Victorian MP is often described as “Blaze Shorten” – a reference to his love of high-quality herbal aromatherapy.

While refusing to state whether or not he was in fact smoking marijuana while driving through Sydney city yesterday afternoon, Mr Shorten has acknowledged that playing gangster music and ‘dutching up’ is his preferred way of unwinding after a tense political debate.

“This campaign is exhausting. I just needed to get faded,” he said.

“Friday night got so turnt after I ate that motherfucker up. The facebook debate needs a 420 emoji [laughter]”


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