Barnaby Joyce Involved In Rum-Fuelled Altercation At Lyceum Hotel In Longreach

"Yeah I had put a few of the punters back in line"

Barnaby Joyce Involved In Rum-Fuelled Altercation At Lyceum Hotel In Longreach

10 March, 2016. 10:45


This morning it was announced that Tony Windsor will go head to head against the Deputy Prime Minister to win back his old seat of New England. This ends months of speculation about a political comeback to parliament for the independent politician.

Meanwhile, in an attempt to keep his supporters in the National Party heartland onside, Barnaby Joyce spent last night rallying locals at one of the most notorious western Queensland pubs.

ABOVE: The infamous Lyceum Hotel, where many believe Barnaby Joyce was involved in a brawl last night. PHOTO: Supplied.

Built in 1896, the Lyceum Hotel in Longreach is well-known for its rowdy atmosphere, even on weeknights, and it seems the fact that the second-highest ranking politician in the country was visiting didn’t change much.

Speaking to media in Roma this morning, Mr Joyce refuted claims that he had been “run out of town” – despite the fact he was sporting an obvious black eye.

“It was just like any other night in Longreach,” said the Deputy Prime Minister, between sips from a 1.2 litre Frozen Coke he had picked up at the Roma McDonalds.

“It was a good catch up with some of my old mates out there. It started off a bit hostile because, initially, they thought I had gotten a bit big for my boots,”

“But after letting the air into a few [consuming copious amounts of XXXX bitter cans], I was able to win them over”

Mr Joyce says his visit was received well in Longreach, home of the Stockman’s Hall of Fame.

“Yeah I had put a few of the punters back in line,” he said, before consuming half a ‘Mighty Angus’ burger in one bite.

“There’s always a lot of shit-talk in towns like this, so I had to let them know I was still very much a St George boy. They thought they had lost me to Canberra,”

“We came to an agreement, after a fair few black rats and a bit of persuading from my end,”

When questioned as to how he was able to travel seven hours before talking to the media this morning, Mr Joyce ensured us that he was not driving.

“Nah, I put one of the staffers behind the wheel the moment the sun went up,”

“There’s a lot going on in the world you know. As Deputy PM, I can’t afford to lose my licence,”


12 Responses to "Barnaby Joyce Involved In Rum-Fuelled Altercation At Lyceum Hotel In Longreach"

  1. Ben   March 11, 2016 at 8:25 am

    “Letting the air into a few”…pure platinum!

  2. Ian   March 11, 2016 at 11:15 am

    Hope he gives Tony Windsor a bit of biffo

  3. Cate   March 11, 2016 at 1:49 pm

    Oh what a beautiful sight. That’s also for threatening to murder two little dogs. You’re a bully and you got exactly what you deserved.

  4. Lod   March 11, 2016 at 2:25 pm

    Great to see the Australian spirit of Banjo Patterson still lives on

  5. Geena   March 11, 2016 at 7:48 pm

    Barnaby has failed drought stricken farmers miserably. He is a former banker and self promoter. Talk is cheap. He runs agriculture like a miserable accountant. Time for farmers to pay back his failed low interest loans and cheap talk by voting him out by a landslide.

  6. OleFella   March 11, 2016 at 9:08 pm

    Don’t knoe who wrote this rubbish but they could get a job with the SMH

  7. Alen   March 12, 2016 at 2:15 pm

    Ah, the Lyceum. Seeing the photo bought back memories. I think Barnaby would be better off fighting Johnny Depps pups, than pull one of those shearers on. The one black eye should have been two.

  8. Melita   March 12, 2016 at 7:26 pm

    Poor Barnyard,a big night by the looks of it,lol.

  9. Jean   March 14, 2016 at 10:44 am

    Lets see if he is a good Leader of the National Party. I think he has been doing a great job over the last 8 months, with the help of the Australian Public, so I wish him well. Black eye huh? At least you weren’t drink driving!

  10. Julie   March 14, 2016 at 6:54 pm

    Call more bulldust on Barnaby claiming underdog status.

  11. Terri Wasylycia   September 7, 2016 at 6:19 pm

    I was sincerely hoping that he’d been kicked by a Bull 😉. Then I wished it had been me that gave him the black eye, god knows he deserves a good smack in the head for all the pain and suffering his ignorance has caused, both human and animal. Pity it wasn’t a king hit, would love to have seen him go down from one punch. The man is a buffoon.


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