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“Suck shit Christo” roared the Deputy Prime Minister, as he massaged his wide-set neck.

“That’s what happens when you spend your life behind a desk”

The cheering continues in the background as Barnaby Joyce does a celebratory rnb-style dance move mimicking a wave with his arms. He’s just taken home the National Party annual goanna pull trophy – for the first time since he entered the lower house.

“Ahhhh yeah!” he shouted while making a Lleyton Hewitt hand gesture to his face.

“Come on!”

The annual Nats pull-off happens each October during the Northern Australian wet season and celebrates the unique brand of regional politics, highlighting the fact that whoever bucks their head and refuses to move is the likely winner of any professional encounter.

The well-known regional pub game gets its name from the fact that the participants look like goannas when taking part in this competition. The event requires two people to face each other with a heavy leather strap joining them around their necks, then they pull each other in a version of tug-of-war.

After a succesfull win this week with the scrapping of the last bastion of renewable energy reform, Mr Joyce was feeling unbeatable as he dragged the 150 kilo member for Dawson across the mat.

“That’s how we do it in Dirranbandi big boy!” he shouted, before covering his tattooed shoulders with the winners sash.

 

 

 

 

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