WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
After the Greens shock loss in the Batman by-election on the weekend, left-wing figures around the country have been asking questions.
Questions, which have been answered today, by spiritual guru and leader of the Greens, Richard Di Natale.
Di Natale has told The Advocate, that Alex Bhathal’s 6th electoral loss in Batman can be attributed to her chakras being all over the place.
“Yeah, I ordered a spiritual healer of mine to conduct an assessment on her (Bhathal), and he discovered that there was serious chaos within her internal energy,” Di Natale said.
For those who may not have spent a lot of time around the Northern Rivers of NSW, or inner city Melbourne, chakras are energy centres within the human body that help to regulate all its processes and keep you healthy.
According to alternative medicine practitioners, kinesiologists and witch doctors, there are 7 chakras or energy centres within your body, and each chakra has its own vibrational frequency and ‘governs specific functions that help make you, well, human.’
Di Natale explained that in hindsight, he should have had the assessment done before beginning the campaign.
“There is no way she was ever going to win, let alone lead a healthy life, with even a single chakra out of place,” he said.
“It’s extremely concerning, and I will be looking at introducing party policy that attempts to prevent debacles like this in future.”
Jade Saskia-Evans from the Alternative Medicine Provided At Extortionate Financial Cost Body Of Australia (AMPAEFCBA) echoed this statement and encouraged anyone with concerns about their chakras to come in and have them seen to for only a couple of hundred dollars a session.
