Jeez Harry’s A Bit Light On Top Too

Jeez Harry’s A Bit Light On Top Too

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With his big day just around the corner, the increased paparazzi attention to Prince Harry has revealed that he’s actually not 100% safe of joining his brother William as a fellow chrome dome. It is believed that his soon-to-be-wife Meghan Markle may not be aware of this ailment, as Prince Harry is a […]

Lucy Turnbull Also ‘Scrumptious’

Lucy Turnbull Also ‘Scrumptious’

 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Malcolm Turnbull has assured reporters his wife Lucy found the French President’s description of her as “delicious” both flattering and charming. “I want to thank you for your welcome — thank you, and your delicious wife.” said Emmanuel Macron’s use of the word raised some eyebrows yesterday, when he ended a meeting with […]

$14 Corona In Hotel Mini Bar Found To Predate Federation

$14 Corona In Hotel Mini Bar Found To Predate Federation

TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contac “Fuck it” thought Simon Lewisham as he reached into his hotel mini bar for the world’s most expensive corona. About to twist the top off the beverage, something caught his eye, it was the Corona’s use by date – which clearly read as 12/06/1889. Just as disappointed thirst quenchers before him, […]

“One Of Diana’s Boys Has Had A Bub” Says Mum

“One Of Diana’s Boys Has Had A Bub” Says Mum

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Mum has displayed tears of joy this evening after learning that that the legacy of her darling Diana remains strong after a new addition to the family, which comes in the shape of a third grandchild “Oh the oldest one” she says. “He’s had a kid. This is just beautiful. How I wish […]

Report: Michael Caine Looking Alright For An Old Fella

Report: Michael Caine Looking Alright For An Old Fella

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT While most men his age are busy spitting on a bus or simply being dead, Sir Michael Caine continues to make a living as an A-List Hollywood actor due to his ageing cockney charm and the fact that he’s looking pretty alright for an old fella. Born in 1933, Michael Caine achieved great […]

Holidayer Who “Never Wants To Leave” Thailand Should’ve Packed Heroin In Her Carry-On

Holidayer Who “Never Wants To Leave” Thailand Should’ve Packed Heroin In Her Carry-On

Local Betoota Girl, Sally Washington (22), has been in Thailand for approximately 39hrs and has tonight revealed to her Instagram followers a deep desire to permanently stay in the unitary state at the centre of the Southeast Asian Indochinese peninsula “OMG! I never want to leave!” Sally yelled over the pumping calypso-house music at a well-known […]

Stern But Polite Phonecall From Malcolm Has Xi Jinping Reconsidering Vanuatu Military Base

Stern But Polite Phonecall From Malcolm Has Xi Jinping Reconsidering Vanuatu Military Base

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Advocate can reveal this afternoon that Chinese leader, Xi Jinping, has told some of his closest advisors that he’s now reconsidering the plan to build a military base on the tiny South Pacific nation of Vanuatu – after Malcolm Turnbull voiced his concern. The Prime Minister’s concerns were echoed by his Kiwi […]

The Queen Screens Calls From Charles Asking Her To Come Pick Him Up

The Queen Screens Calls From Charles Asking Her To Come Pick Him Up

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Her Majesty The Queen has revealed that she’s been forced to screen a number of phone calls from Prince Charles this week as the second-in-line to the throne grows increasingly tired of being away from home. The Advocate can reveal this afternoon that the Prince was under the impression […]