Trump Requests All Security Briefings Be Kept To 140 Characters Or Less

Trump Requests All Security Briefings Be Kept To 140 Characters Or Less

JUAN CIUDADANO | Trump Editor | CONTACT In a defining move, the US president-elect Donald Trump has decreed he will conduct all official meetings with foreign leaders and advisors using no more than 140 characters per speaker. Buoyed by the impact of his @realDonaldTrump twitter account, the real estate mogul announced the move via social media Tuesday. […]

Trump Reconsidering Presidency After Learning Of Protests Against Him In Sydney

"It has always been a big concern of his, and the American Republican party in general, to win over the residents of Balmain and Newtown in Sydney's inner-west"

Trump Reconsidering Presidency After Learning Of Protests Against Him In Sydney

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT President-Elect Donald J Trump is reportedly reconsidering whether or not he will go ahead with the official inauguration into the White House this Friday, after learning about a community rally against him in Sydney, Australia. Speaking to the The Betoota Advocate this morning, Vice President-Elect Michael Pence says Trump […]

First Baby Named ‘Graham’ Since 1962 Born In Townsville Hospital Overnight

First Baby Named ‘Graham’ Since 1962 Born In Townsville Hospital Overnight

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Once thought to be almost definitely extinct, the Anglo-French given name of Graham was resurrected in a Townsville hospital overnight. The name – which is historically believed to be a combination of possibly meaning “gravel”, and ham, meaning “hamlet” – has not been registered a new name by Australian Births Deaths And Marriages […]

Trump Insists Obama Officially ‘Tags Him In’ Over Turnbuckle Before Standing Down

The ceremony ended abruptly amidst a sea of booing Obama supporters.

Trump Insists Obama Officially ‘Tags Him In’ Over Turnbuckle Before Standing Down

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT President Barack Obama said goodbye to the nation today, stating in a farewell address that he hadn’t abandoned his vision of progressive change. In a packed hall of supporters in his adopted hometown, President Obama admitted “for every two steps forward, it often feels we take one step back.” “This is where […]

Christmas Ham Still Good To Go, Says Dad

Christmas Ham Still Good To Go, Says Dad

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite the fact it has been four, extremely warm Summer days since the Christmas ham was pulled out of the oven, Dads around the country are still of the belief that it’s still good to eat. One local man, Brett Noon (29) says he’s pretty certain the cut up leg […]

Santa Explains Why Rich Kids Get Cooler Toys Than Houso Kids

"it's only fair"

Santa Explains Why Rich Kids Get Cooler Toys Than Houso Kids

ESSIE BURKE | Human Interest | CONTACT NORTH POLE – An ageing fat man with a predilection for sliding down chimneys in crimson garb and lavishing gifts on children has confirmed he spends more on rich kids. In an exclusive interview with the Advocate, the icon of crass consumerism and the magic of Christmas said […]

Local Millennial wondering if he’ll be fighting Russia or China next year

"If war is anything like it is in the movies, then I'm pretty fucked." he explained.

Local Millennial wondering if he’ll be fighting Russia or China next year

20 December, 2016. 14:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Receiving his degree in interior design just last week, Michael Rawlins never thought he’d be in the situation he’s in now. Speaking to The Advocate earlier this morning, the 23-year-old explained that the thought of having to bayonet a Russian or Chinese millennial is ‘seriously […]

Budgy Smuggler Successfully Taps Into Highly Lucrative ‘Greek Dad’ Market

"We know they love a good deal, so we've just jacked down the price on all designs related to Greece"

Budgy Smuggler Successfully Taps Into Highly Lucrative ‘Greek Dad’ Market

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Southern European men are well-regarded around the world for not being dictated by the unachievably high magazine standards of body image set by Calvin Klein commercials. In fact, the further south you go, the less they care. Australian-Greek men are some of the most free men in the world With this phenomena […]

11 Of The Sexiest ‘Alt-Right’ Icons To Make You Forget How Horrific The Holocaust Was

11 Of The Sexiest ‘Alt-Right’ Icons To Make You Forget How Horrific The Holocaust Was

DUSTIN WAGIN | Style Blitz | CONTACT Achtung mein party people! Be that party the GOP, One Nation, or New Balance, fascism is back baby, and it’s sexier than a well kept Luger! With hip young trendsters like Milio Yianappolous and Richard Spencer sporting looks as pure as their Aryan bloodlines, and Australia’s own George Christiansen posing like […]

Julian Assange just wants somebody to come over and play FIFA with him

"Also, I would like some Oportos." he said.

Julian Assange just wants somebody to come over and play FIFA with him

10 December, 2016. 14:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact PERSECUTED AUSTRALIAN-BORN activist Julian Assange revealed to The Advocate this morning that he’s was bored enough last week to make himself his own character on FIFA 17 and one for soon-to-be-former US president Barak Obama, which he spends most of each game slide tackling. He’s […]