Police Confirm Kim Jong-Un’s Brother Forgot To Put A Coaster On His Schooner Before Taking A Piss

Police Confirm Kim Jong-Un’s Brother Forgot To Put A Coaster On His Schooner Before Taking A Piss

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The half-brother of North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has been assassinated at an airport in Kuala Lumpur, telling medical workers before he died that he forgot to put a coaster over his schooner before going to the bathroom, a Malaysian official has said. Kim Jong-nam, 46, was targeted on Monday in the […]

Beyonce’s Unborn Twins To Bring Balance Back To The Force

Beyonce’s Unborn Twins To Bring Balance Back To The Force

PUTNEY SWOPE| Personal Lives Of Notable People | CONTACT In these trying times fraught with political turmoil and imminent conflict of an already divided people, a new hope stands on the horizon. With Beyonce and Jay Z announcing the arrival of twins, it has been prophesized that they shall bring balance to the Force. Sources suggest […]

Barron Trump Put Forward As Presidential Nominee For Supreme Court Judge

Barron Trump Put Forward As Presidential Nominee For Supreme Court Judge

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Initially thought to be choosing a conservative judge, willing to shape the court for years to come on issues like abortion and gun and religious rights, President Donald Trump has today shocked congress by unveiling his pick for a lifetime job on the U.S. Supreme Court. His 11-year-old son, Barron Trump. The powerless […]

Trump Decides To Make It Harder For Women To Let Doctors Grab Them By The Pussy

VP Mike Pence, chief of staff Reince Priebus, his son-in-law Jared Kushner and top advisor and former far-right website owner Steve Bannon were all present to soak in the monumental victory.

Trump Decides To Make It Harder For Women To Let Doctors Grab Them By The Pussy

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Donald Trump today banned the US government from giving funding to health groups that offer counselling surrounding health issues that involve women’s private parts, such as their pussies. The President signed an order reinstating the “global gag rule”, which denies US foreign aid to groups who “perform or actively promote […]

Trump Requests All Security Briefings Be Kept To 140 Characters Or Less

Trump Requests All Security Briefings Be Kept To 140 Characters Or Less

JUAN CIUDADANO | Trump Editor | CONTACT In a defining move, the US president-elect Donald Trump has decreed he will conduct all official meetings with foreign leaders and advisors using no more than 140 characters per speaker. Buoyed by the impact of his @realDonaldTrump twitter account, the real estate mogul announced the move via social media Tuesday. […]

Trump Reconsidering Presidency After Learning Of Protests Against Him In Sydney

"It has always been a big concern of his, and the American Republican party in general, to win over the residents of Balmain and Newtown in Sydney's inner-west"

Trump Reconsidering Presidency After Learning Of Protests Against Him In Sydney

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT President-Elect Donald J Trump is reportedly reconsidering whether or not he will go ahead with the official inauguration into the White House this Friday, after learning about a community rally against him in Sydney, Australia. Speaking to the The Betoota Advocate this morning, Vice President-Elect Michael Pence says Trump […]

First Baby Named ‘Graham’ Since 1962 Born In Townsville Hospital Overnight

First Baby Named ‘Graham’ Since 1962 Born In Townsville Hospital Overnight

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Once thought to be almost definitely extinct, the Anglo-French given name of Graham was resurrected in a Townsville hospital overnight. The name – which is historically believed to be a combination of possibly meaning “gravel”, and ham, meaning “hamlet” – has not been registered a new name by Australian Births Deaths And Marriages […]

Trump Insists Obama Officially ‘Tags Him In’ Over Turnbuckle Before Standing Down

The ceremony ended abruptly amidst a sea of booing Obama supporters.

Trump Insists Obama Officially ‘Tags Him In’ Over Turnbuckle Before Standing Down

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT President Barack Obama said goodbye to the nation today, stating in a farewell address that he hadn’t abandoned his vision of progressive change. In a packed hall of supporters in his adopted hometown, President Obama admitted “for every two steps forward, it often feels we take one step back.” “This is where […]

Christmas Ham Still Good To Go, Says Dad

Christmas Ham Still Good To Go, Says Dad

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite the fact it has been four, extremely warm Summer days since the Christmas ham was pulled out of the oven, Dads around the country are still of the belief that it’s still good to eat. One local man, Brett Noon (29) says he’s pretty certain the cut up leg […]