Love Actually Producer Buys 14th Home In The Bahamas

Love Actually Producer Buys 14th Home In The Bahamas

KENT REGINALD | Film | Contact Love Actually producer and guy who loves Christmas more than Jesus himself, Duncan Kenworthy, has today finalised a deal for his 14th house in the Bahamas. Kenworthy, in a statement released to Bahaman media, stated that his latest acquisition was all thanks to the support of his family, the […]

Rest Of World Relieved As Polls Confirm Only Half Of Alabama Is Okay With Pedophiles

Rest Of World Relieved As Polls Confirm Only Half Of Alabama Is Okay With Pedophiles

KENT REGINALD | Trains | CONTACT Millions around the world are breathing a huge sigh of relief today, after election results confirmed that only half the population of Alabama is willing to back a political candidate who has been accused of multiple child sex crimes. The result came as Democratic nominee Doug Jones beat former Judge and current alleged […]

Tensions Rise In Middle North After Trump Recognises Alice Springs As Australian Capital

Tensions Rise In Middle North After Trump Recognises Alice Springs As Australian Capital

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT US President Donald Trump has been accused of dealing a “death sentence” to the Northern Territory peace process by recognising Alice Spring’s as Australia’s capital. Leaders around the world, including US allies, have condemned the move as US embassies in the Top End and ACT prepare for potentially violent protests in the wake […]

“Argh! I Hate Tourists!” Says Game Of Thrones Fan Currently In Dubrovnik On Contiki

“Argh! I Hate Tourists!” Says Game Of Thrones Fan Currently In Dubrovnik On Contiki

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After spending yesterday being bumped and pushed about by the hoards of tourists in Dubrovnik, a local bloke currently on holiday in Europe has concluded that he hates tourists. Speaking to The Advocate via satellite telephone, Dennis Pooley said he and his partner have had their ‘once-in-a-lifetime’ trip to the […]

Piss Cutting Legend At European Hostel Can’t Even Remember Budapest

Piss Cutting Legend At European Hostel Can’t Even Remember Budapest

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Hostel room bars and common areas are often places where young folk can meet interesting people from different countries and walks of life. However, they are also often the scene of some horrendous chat. The hostel legend or self-described ‘lewse goose’ is a culprit often responsible for nauseating self-indulged […]

Jesus Christ Tells Tony Abbott That Whatever Happens Tomorrow Was All Part Of God’s Plan

Jesus Christ Tells Tony Abbott That Whatever Happens Tomorrow Was All Part Of God’s Plan

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The former Prime Minister has been locked in high-level talks with his mentor, the Son of God, this afternoon ahead of the results of the same-sex marriage which will be released tomorrow. Jesus of Nazareth, better known by his stage name Jesus Christ, told The Advocate that he spoke to Tony Abbott at […]

US Only Country To Not Join Paris Agreement As ISIS Pledges To Reduce Emissions By 2020

US Only Country To Not Join Paris Agreement As ISIS Pledges To Reduce Emissions By 2020

KENT REGINALD | Entertainment | CONTACT In a stunning turn of events, ISIS have come out and pledged to reduce carbon emissions by the year 2020, leaving the United States as the only country not committed to helping reduce the risks of environmental catastrophe. “The goal of reducing the human impact of climate change is one which is deeply […]

Alf From Home And Away Recognised As Last Respectable Male Celebrity On Earth

Alf From Home And Away Recognised As Last Respectable Male Celebrity On Earth

KENT REGINALD | Entertainment | CONTACT With the spate of sexual harassment allegations stunning Hollywood over the last few weeks, the Hollywood Reporter has confirmed today that ‘Alf Stewart’ from Home and Away is now officially the last remaining male celebrity on Earth worthy of our respect and admiration. The loveable old rogue, who has been a mainstay […]