Santa Explains Why Rich Kids Get Cooler Toys Than Houso Kids

"it's only fair"

Santa Explains Why Rich Kids Get Cooler Toys Than Houso Kids

ESSIE BURKE | Human Interest | CONTACT NORTH POLE – An ageing fat man with a predilection for sliding down chimneys in crimson garb and lavishing gifts on children has confirmed he spends more on rich kids. In an exclusive interview with the Advocate, the icon of crass consumerism and the magic of Christmas said […]

Local Millennial wondering if he’ll be fighting Russia or China next year

"If war is anything like it is in the movies, then I'm pretty fucked." he explained.

Local Millennial wondering if he’ll be fighting Russia or China next year

20 December, 2016. 14:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Receiving his degree in interior design just last week, Michael Rawlins never thought he’d be in the situation he’s in now. Speaking to The Advocate earlier this morning, the 23-year-old explained that the thought of having to bayonet a Russian or Chinese millennial is ‘seriously […]

Budgy Smuggler Successfully Taps Into Highly Lucrative ‘Greek Dad’ Market

"We know they love a good deal, so we've just jacked down the price on all designs related to Greece"

Budgy Smuggler Successfully Taps Into Highly Lucrative ‘Greek Dad’ Market

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Southern European men are well-regarded around the world for not being dictated by the unachievably high magazine standards of body image set by Calvin Klein commercials. In fact, the further south you go, the less they care. Australian-Greek men are some of the most free men in the world With this phenomena […]

11 Of The Sexiest ‘Alt-Right’ Icons To Make You Forget How Horrific The Holocaust Was

11 Of The Sexiest ‘Alt-Right’ Icons To Make You Forget How Horrific The Holocaust Was

DUSTIN WAGIN | Style Blitz | CONTACT Achtung mein party people! Be that party the GOP, One Nation, or New Balance, fascism is back baby, and it’s sexier than a well kept Luger! With hip young trendsters like Milio Yianappolous and Richard Spencer sporting looks as pure as their Aryan bloodlines, and Australia’s own George Christiansen posing like […]

Julian Assange just wants somebody to come over and play FIFA with him

"Also, I would like some Oportos." he said.

Julian Assange just wants somebody to come over and play FIFA with him

10 December, 2016. 14:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact PERSECUTED AUSTRALIAN-BORN activist Julian Assange revealed to The Advocate this morning that he’s was bored enough last week to make himself his own character on FIFA 17 and one for soon-to-be-former US president Barak Obama, which he spends most of each game slide tackling. He’s […]

Fidel Castro Outlives Lifelong Rival, The USA, By Two Weeks

Fidel Castro Outlives Lifelong Rival, The USA, By Two Weeks

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Fidel Castro, the outspoken revolutionary who brought communist hostilities much closer than comfortable in 1959, and then defied the United States for nearly half a century as Cuba’s leader, embarrassing 11 American presidents and surviving countless assassination attempts, died on Friday. He was 90. Cuban state television announced the death but gave […]

Trump secures key Juggalo vote

"It's all downhill from there, that's basically half of Florida." he said.

Trump secures key Juggalo vote

9 November, 2016. 11:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact BEFORE HEADING OUT TO vote, Dennis Gobbmann cleaned his Glock 23 and spent an hour putting on his makeup. The 24-year-old refrigeration technician was lucky to not cast his vote from the Jacksonville watchhouse today, after being arrested last night for throwing rocks at cars overnight. […]

Hillary Clinton’s Early Lead Attributed To Official Endorsement From Rapper Pitbull

It is predicted that Clinton will win by a landslide.

Hillary Clinton’s Early Lead Attributed To Official Endorsement From Rapper Pitbull

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With the US Presidential election well under way, some of America’s most critical swing states are experiencing a surge in turnout among Latino voters, in an unexpected phenomenon that could provide a major boost to Hillary Clinton’s campaign. Statistics from Florida, Nevada, Georgia, North Carolina and Arizona all show a significant increase in […]

Report: Trump Voters Feel Ignored By Political System, Secretly Want To Watch World Burn

"Nukes are pretty cool" he said.

Report: Trump Voters Feel Ignored By Political System, Secretly Want To Watch World Burn

6 November, 2016 17:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent finding by The Borowitz Report shows that the almost unbelievable rise of Presidential nominee Donald Trump is attributed to the fact that most of his growing contingent of supporters feel that they have been ignored by the political system over the last twenty years of Government. Speaking to […]