The Nation

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The New South Wales Premier has kept the wins rolling in this week, announcing a shiny new policy to win over the people of the Hunter and Illawarra regions. Fresh from being the man in the pictures as the state opens back up, Dominic Perrottet has revealed a three billion dollar hydrogen energy policy. With Twiggy Forrest standing...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Emmet Buy/Swap/Sell Facebook page started out with pure intentions according to the administrator, but internal town politics and a perverted need to open old wounds quickly diminished any value from it. Warren Kelly started the page to create a portal by which Emmet's 17 000 residents could sell their unneeded possessions or pick something...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As Sydney emerges from a fifteen week lockdown, it has become clear that Victoria should have spent less time pussyfooting about and just locked down hard and fast like New South Wales did. This comes as Melbourne notches up yet another day in lockdown (if you'd even call it that) with daily case numbers still higher than were ever...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The rest of the nation has responded to NSW's bold comments yesterday. As the southern state enjoys a week of opening back up, Premier Dominic Perrottet has inflated the already inflated egos of his constituents. "We are leading the nation out of this thing, and showing them the path to living with this virus," he said yesterday during the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Barber shops have reopened across Greater Sydney this week, after 4 long months of Home & Away hairlines and shonky home jobs. The momentous occasion was not lost on NSW Premier Dominic Perrottet, who described the hairy lockdown as more than 100 days of "blood, sweat and no beers". As of yesterday fully jabbed residents have been granted freedoms after...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local Sydney man has outed himself as a deadset fuckwit, demonstrating the nerve to ask a pub owner whether there are any specials on for Freedom Day. The ludicrously tone-deaf question was poorly received, as Commercial Real Estate Manager and regular fuckhead Jarrod Oakley (29) wrongly assumed his humour was welcome in the licensed premise. “Fuck it’s...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A special treat for pub patrons today, as Erskinville establishment ‘The Stinky Bishop’ rolled out the yellow carpet for local grog monsters about to give it a nudge. Boasting a freshly mopped floor and crisp new reels of bog roll, it seems pub owner Gary Resch has really gone the extra mile in welcoming back his regular...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In case you didn't realise, because they didn't complain nearly half as loudly as Melbourne did last year, Sydney has just wrapped up more than 100 days in lockdown. Regional travel within NSW is now back on the cards - and hospitality is back up and running. Hairdressers and barbershops around the state are completely booked out and shoppers are...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT Victorian Premier Dan Andrews has gifted his opponents a nice win after acknowledging that he forgot to wear a mask yesterday afternoon as he was walking to parliament. Mask wearing in Victoria is compulsory outside, unless you have a valid reason or exemption. While the man in charge of the southern state has tried to play the matter...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT The nation's tertiary education sector has today breathed a huge sigh of relief. Their cause for exhalation was the Victorian state government's revelation that a few international students will be allowed to return to Aussie shores in the coming months. Although it will only be 120 students initially, the nod from the government that the cash taps will...