The Nation

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT #NupToTheCup activists have today been urged to try their hand at a boxed trifecta this week. A trifecta is the selection of the first three runners to finish a race, in the correct order. A boxed trifecta is a type of trifecta bet where the bettor selects three or more runners to fill the 1st, 2nd and 3rd places in any order. This comes as...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As New South Wales bids a hopeful farewell to hotel quarantine, one patriot feels like they got the short end of the deal. Navy recruitment officer Jackie Eldridge (32), the last Australian to use hotel quarantine, told The Advocate she feels rather stung after checking out of a hotel in Sydney's CBD yesterday and getting hit with a shocker...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It would seem that the Australian Prime Minister is now regretting his decision to tear his government apart in preparation for impressing world leaders at the COP26 Climate Summit in Glasgow this week, after his glorious appearance on the world stage was immediately dampened by a French President with an axe to grind. It would seem Scotty has learnt...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact A local cleanskin has today found himself having to lie to his tattooed co-worker after the co-worker shoved a weeping chest in his face saying, ‘look at my new ink, isn’t it cool?’ Luckily for Mike Ropesly, the cleanskin, he was quick-witted and able to think on his feet, summoning a supportive response in 0.43...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Claudia Smith-Jones (26) is one of Betoota’s hottest socialites, she’s known around town for her flawless complexion, immaculate hair and enviable style. People have said that she’s the only Instagram influencer who’s Insta looks are the same as her real life looks. Well, not any more. The Advocate can exclusively reveal that Claudia’s picture-perfect façade has a crack in...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Albert Jensen has had just about enough of the Halloween rubbish this week. The 65-year-old retired accountant from Betoota Grove hit out at the growing celebration of the American holiday of Halloween. Jensen explained that he is fed up with all of this nonsense about a day we shouldn't even be celebrating over here. "The fact that I'm even here talking to...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A popular student at South Betoota Polytechnic College has revealed a particularly useful lifehack to The Advocate this afternoon That lifehack is the trick of getting a whole weeks' worth of groceries at Coles for just $30. William McQuade doesn’t use special coupons - or purchase stuff that's about to go off. He uses one simple, easy trick. That...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT There was frustration in the French Quarter this morning, as a couple’s peaceful brunch was ruined by the arrival of an amateur parade of cyclists. It’s been a tough week for the recently engaged Natasha Oat (28) and Sam Benedict (27), who had both spent the last fortnight juggling night shifts at the Betoota Base Hospital. Excited by...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Being convinced by a deadbeat lover to the breach public trust by tipping over 5 million tax-payer-dollars into ineligible rural community grants is an unfortunate scenario that any one of us could have found ourselves in. That's according the Point Piper-based hedge fund manager, Katherine McKatherines (57). "Why is it only Gladys that goes down" she says. "What about all the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local legal professional, Sandra McDermott (27) has today gone all out as a 'zombie insta model' in this year's attempt at a stand out Halloween costume. While her parents, as post-war suburban Australians, detest the concept of celebrating Halloween with every fibre of their bodies, Sandy thinks it's kind of cool to dress up as a scary supernatural...