The Nation

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT A local moggy has today proved that yet again, he rules the roost. Sootie is said to have been adopted by the Harris household roughly two weeks ago after a friend found him meowing pitifully as he wandered down her street. Claire and Steven had allegedly not been on the lookout for a furry addition to their household but...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As experts warn housing inequality and intergenerational poverty is increasing in Australia, there seems to finally be a plan to address the fact that the Australian property market has been manipulated to the point that nearly 90% of Australian's under the age of 40 cannot ever see themselves owning a home. There are calls for a national housing policy...

KENT REGINALD | Entertainment | CONTACT In a move described by many as “unnecessary” and “kind of irresponsible”, the Australian Government has today formally acknowledge this week to be the first annual National “It’s Too Close To Christmas To Do Any Actual Work” Week. In a press conference, the Government announced its plan to formally commemorate this momentous week, in which literally no one Australia...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local father of three Chris Richards has had to make the painstaking decision to drop his most timid son, Andrew (14), from the family's backyard side, ahead of the arrival of the in-laws tomorrow afternoon. "I didn't want it to be this way - but as captain, coach and selector - it's my duty to make sure we...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A rather unfortunate series of events has taken place in Betoota's Old City District today. With his calendar booked out for extremely important meetings that he can't be disturbed for, Ben Wilkins has had a late cancellation. The cancellation comes in the form of a storm cloud over Brisbane's Gabba on Day 1 of the First Ashes Test...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT At age thirty-two, Betoota Heights local Lauren Gordon has finally made the plunge to get a studio apartment of her own. After a decade of renting with numerous people, including a seven-person share house where someone once shaved their pubes in the sink, Lauren was ready for her own space to call home. Which meant she could listen to...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After spending the last decade stoking culture wars as the voice of the working class, both the Liberal Party and Murdoch media are today scrambling to find ways to vilify the working men and women currently taking to the streets to protest low wages and staff shortages. This comes as the corrections officers, transport workers and miscellaneous union members...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT A local woman has been spotted fleeing from a bloke's house tonight, as concerned onlookers note she looked frazzled and as though she'd 'seen a ghost.' It's alleged Jen Stewart had been on three very successful dates with a bloke she met at a gig a few weeks ago, quickly becoming entranced by the smooth talker who promised...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT An influencer has today absolutely reamed their idiot boyfriend, for having the audacity to propose when she hadn't had her nails done. Isabelle Hornick is a much beloved influencer from the French district, who's known for her perfect cookie-cutter lifestyle, filled with linen and many variations of the colour beige. Having everything perfectly in order, including her water facing...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A reasonably reserved young man at a firm in Betoota's Old City District has shown his true colours today. Phil Hills had previsouly been looked upon as the run of the mill office man with the normal sorts of hobbies that run of the mill office men have. However, after a couple of beers at a Christmas event, the accountant...