Doofer Forced To Take Up Nangs To Get Her Through Dry Season Shortage Of Shrooms

Doofer Forced To Take Up Nangs To Get Her Through Dry Season Shortage Of Shrooms

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact With four months to go until the Australian magic mushroom season kicks off, local traffic controller Kelly Dowell (29) has managed to survive the shroom-free summer with a few nang heavy weekends. Usually a fan of the ‘natural’ and ‘earthly’ high of psychedelic mushrooms, Dowell has managed to curb her lust for natures […]

Johnny Depp Still A Cunt

Johnny Depp Still A Cunt

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Even though it could be argued that he has had the last laugh after a long battle with the Australian establishment, it has been confirmed that Hollywood actor Johnny Depp is still very much a piece of shit. Even everyday Australians who don’t like Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce say that they […]

Trump To Provide Teachers With Diabetes To Prevent Diabetes Related Deaths At Schools

Trump To Provide Teachers With Diabetes To Prevent Diabetes Related Deaths At Schools

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After meeting with sufferers and the families of those lost to America’s type 2 diabetes epidemic, President Trump has called for ‘something to be done about this horrible situation that is going on’ – and has already floated the idea of arming American schoolteachers with type 2 diabetes themselves, so as to […]

American Teacher Can’t Wait To Show Off Her Anti-Terror Muscle Memory On School Shooter

American Teacher Can’t Wait To Show Off Her Anti-Terror Muscle Memory On School Shooter

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A lovely natured American woman who decided her one true calling was moulding the minds of innocent children through maths and literacy says she’s quite excited about the new changes in her job description meaning that she is required to carry a machine gun. “I’m excited about the new challenges that present themselves […]

Silly Season’s Final Casualty Revealed To Be Local Man’s Belt

Silly Season’s Final Casualty Revealed To Be Local Man’s Belt

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Last November, Artie Pert was a svelt 81 kilograms ringing wet. Now, the 26-year-old is getting called ‘big fella’ by strangers. “I’m not that big,” he said to our reporter out the front of Blowes Menswear North Betoota. “These straight leg boot cut Levis are basically Ksubis now. Any […]

Overly Keen Mate On Bucks Party Surprises Everyone With Fucking Lame Matching Shirts

Overly Keen Mate On Bucks Party Surprises Everyone With Fucking Lame Matching Shirts

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the lads roll into the sinful, but somehow also steril,  main drag of Surfer’s Paradise, their stomachs bubble with excitement for the weekend to follow. Kev, a 29-year-old Betoota-based mechanic is getting married, so he’s gathered his best, brightest and naughtiest mates for ‘one last’ blow out. The men, some who […]

Arts Graduate Blazing Her Own Trail With Travel Blog

Arts Graduate Blazing Her Own Trail With Travel Blog

Kelly Mcdonald’s Instagram Bio pretty much sums up what she is all about. Writer / Foodie / Traveller / “Be fearless of what pursuits set your soul on fire” it reads. At just 22, the young Betoota Groves Arts Grad from the Polytechnic is beating a new path in the highly undersaturated world of travel […]

Albo Discreetly Palms Off Switchblade To Staffer As Cops Drive Past Electoral Office

Albo Discreetly Palms Off Switchblade To Staffer As Cops Drive Past Electoral Office

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Honourable Member for Grayndler has had a close call with the fuzz this afternoon, after nearly getting pinched with a shank outside his Inner West Sydney electoral office. Anthony Albanese MP, was quick to discreetly hand over his treasured switchblade to a young Labor staffer, while talking with constituents on Marrickville […]

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