Local News

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT33 year old Gabrielle Rooney confessed today that despite having a firm grip on technology, she absolutely detests that blind trust she has to put into google docs auto save and the fact that she can't just manually save things on the cloud based document app. Gabrielle's Microsoft Word past has left her with the lifelong habit of manually...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactMarried At First Sight Australia has been praised for their startling accurate insights into the typical Gold Coast man, after introducing three blokes that are so stereotypically GC ,they almost sound fictional. Speaking to a scorned Gold Coast resident, Tahlia Mikkelson, 26, The Advocate learns more about this fascinating subculture of Australia. “They’ve really outdone themselves this year”, says Tahlia,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The proud owner of a new BYD Seal has had his air conditioning turned off by the car itself this morning after allegedly insulting the car in front of a friend. It's hot in Betoota right now. The tail end of Cyclone Kirily is soaking the interior and it's currently 38 at the Old City...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactCourtney Lawson stirs awake, feeling the left hand side of her mattress sag with the familiar weight of a body. Opening her eyes as she nestles closer into the figure, the telltale scent of grape flavoured vape and a hint of BO signals that her husband Josh is home after a night at the pokies, and should the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A seemingly stoned bloke working at a roadside Betoota servo has today rolled out the up-sell. For customer, Ted Reston (41), the last thing he wants is someone openly talking about what he's put on the counter - let alone trying to sweeten the deal. But the man operating the till has talking points that he must tick off, as...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTIn a bizarre incident that perfectly encapsulates the complete decimation of gen-z's attention span , Samantha Fernie (23), found herself accidentally swiping up on the pages of her paperback book during a beach day outing.  Sources confirm that Samantha's social media scrolling had taken such a powerful grip on her subconscious that even the serenity of the ocean couldn't...

STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACTINVINCIBLE: Researchers have officially confirmed what we all secretly suspected: the original GHD hair straighteners are the Nokia 3310 of the beauty world. Unbeatable, indestructible, and a relic from a time when flip phones and frosted tips were the epitome of cool. Scientists at the Australian Institute of Hair (AIH) spent countless hours analysing the science behind of these...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT I WILL HAVE FUN TODAY! After years of protest, the Indigenous community have made it clear that they view January 26th as a day of mourning - and that our national day should be changed. Due to the work of our historians, those who oppose this position can no longer argue that Indigenous Australians are exaggerating the horror that...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT34 year old Noah Cheshire, a self-proclaimed survivor of the early 2000s drought, is still unable to shake off the trauma associated with the early 2000’s flood when flushing toilets on full blast.  The millennial, who grew up in the chaotic times of Australian Idol season 1, the post Olympic come down and general economic stability, has reportedly struggled...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTIn a groundbreaking move to cater to the vast number of Aussies who get the majority of their cardio in on Friday nights, Strava has proudly announced the launch of its latest feature: "Walking Home Pissed From the Pub."  The innovative addition to the popular fitness app is set to revolutionize the way people track their post-drinking journeys home. Strava,...