Local News

Rental Agent Replaced By AI For More Empathetic, Human Experience

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTThe leaps and bounds of the artificial intelligence sector have seen bold new innovations that have allowed users to listen to a predictable playlist and stop paying their copywriters entirely.  According to critics of AI, replacing human work with machine work is step one in an eventual downfall that at best leads to richer bureaucrats and mass unemployment and...

Oppenheimer Still Not As Memorable As Aro Killing Carlisle In Breaking Dawn Part Two

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactDespite taking home a staggering seven Oscar wins, it can be confirmed that Christopher Nolan’s Oppenheimer has nothing on the 2012 fantasy epic, Breaking Dawn Part 2, which features a scene that is no doubt seared in the brain of every millennial woman. Speaking to one such woman, Betoota Heights local Lily Plunkett, 29,,The Advocate learns why the Twilight...

Small Town’s Two Uber Drivers Catch Up To Complete The Gossip Jigsaw 

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Two older men meeting at a Channel Country deli cafe may appear to be an innocuous affair but those in the know are aware of something far more sinister.For years, Betoota’s nearest neighbour, the barren oasis of Mt Quilby, has been battling hard to get city status and now has two whole Uber drivers to prove it.The two...

Boring Posh Kid Has Boring Posh Toys 

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA local child is getting life off to a boring yet incredibly privileged start as evidenced by their collection of toys that is as boring and posh as they are.While other kids waste their time in the fictional world of Pokemon, Quentin Quaggly (4) of Betoota Grove appears to be much more interested in collecting toys that directly...

“Only Joking” At End Of Insult Confirms It Was Really The Truth

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTFatal shots have been fired amongst a Betoota group of friends after what was presumed to be a light-hearted roast was confirmed as a real diss after being finished off with an ‘only joking’.Physically unable to drink in a group without making jokes at each other's expense, the young group of Betoota friends traded blows back and forth,...

Bride Picks August Wedding In Hope That Guest Tax Returns Result In Better Presents

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | ContactA local bride-to-be has spoken to The Advocate today about why she’s chosen to get married on a random Wednesday in mid-August.Anna Grace-Harward, 28, has been eying off dates for a wedding ever since her full-time root Ryan Hayes got his knee dirty over Christmas, and asked if she’d like to blow $50,000 with him on a...

Bloke Who Did A Few Cashies In 2007 Waits For The Police To Come Get Him Amid ATO Debt Revival

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local Hire-A-Hubby franchisee put the jug on this afternoon and walked to the window as the soft desert rain soaked the red plains a sullen maroon. Dennis Rockcliff is waiting for the Queensland Police to arrive at his home on Fraser Circuit in Betoota Grove. The 47-year-old's Hire-A-Hubby van is parked close to the...

Local Girl’s Sexually Charged DMs Descend Into Crush Sending Nothing But Mildly Funny IG Reels

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA relationship that started off very promising has unfortunately devolved into memes and Instagram reels, leaving one Betoota Heights woman feeling a bit hopeless. Jessica Shipper, 28, says she isn’t really sure where things went wrong, but that she’s now somehow been ‘meme zoned’ - and to make things worse, a lot of the content really isn’t that funny. “Yeah...

Foreign Student’s ‘Diploma Of Hospitality Logistics Management’ Is Just Him Delivering Fast Food To Inner-City Chodes

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact An Argentinian national has learned the hard way that studying on this desert continent of ours is not all it's cracked up to be. Carlos Malvinas, of the Patagonian city of Comodoro Rivadavia, is currently studying a Diploma of Hospitality Logistics Management at the Diamantina College of Culinary Design and Practice (DCCDP). He tells The...

Layabout Millennial Has Future Turned Upside Down After Scammers Steal His Inheritance

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Grove man child is staring down the prospect of having to do something with his life today after his parents were scammed out of millions of dollars by some guy overseas. Late last year, 35-year-old Reece Beauden moved back to the family home from the apartment his parents helped him buy because the...

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