"I think it's fascinating that men can do two things at once," she said.
25 March, 2017. 12:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Men are often criticized for not being able to do two things at once, however, most men are able to urinate and spit at the same time – which has become an area of interest for Australia’s peak scientific body. Launching a $455m study into […]
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite his love of learning, local Murri kid, Jason Ridley (7) has today come to terms with the fact that he probably won’t be finishing year twelve. As a young Aboriginal male with a fair bit of pace, everything was looking good for Jason, until he became old enough to play full contact […]
"He's a bit of trivia for you," he said. "Give me 49 standard drinks and some illegal brain candy and 9/10 I'll piss on something I'm not supposed to."
24 March, 2017. 12:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Coming to the end of a relatively short week, with his boss away on business and only one meeting to attend, a South Betoota project manager has wound down this afternoon by hitting up every group chat he’s in – trying to lock in a […]
"I know I'll be fine going through customs," he said. "But I just know they'll stop me."
23 March, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Despite putting a Union Jack filter over his Facebook display picture, a local Sikh man has no grand illusions about how he’s going to be treated at airports and other public buildings in the wake of yet another terrorist attack linked to Islam. Ranjit Bahadur […]
"Mum thought I'd grow into them," he said. "She was wrong."
23 March, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Ruining yet another pair of stonewash boot cut jeans, a quiet but equally endearing Eromanga man makes no apologies for the fashion faux pas – saying, “it is what it is, then you die.” Speaking to The Advocate this morning from the heart, Gregor Norfolk […]
"Won't be needing this fucking thing anymore," he said.
22 March, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local dual citizen threw his British passport in the rubbish this morning after all hope that ‘Brexit’ wasn’t actually going to go ahead was extinguished as UK Prime Minister Theresa May plans to officially notify the European Union next Wednesday that the kingdom is […]
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT 65 year old Italian immigrant Chris Marchese was left seething at the local real estate agent yesterday afternoon, after the salesman “refused to come to the party.” The Betoota Real estate agent Ben Hunt, 30, looked flabbergasted when the prospective home buyer asked for 10 percent off the price of a home if […]
"You know, just when you think you know somebody, they go and pull something like this," he said.
20 March, 2017. 14:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Moving to the harsh Queensland interior just last year, a local retiree has revealed that his ‘sand-change’ was going swimmingly up until yesterday when he arrived at a mate’s Sunday BBQ with a longneck of red wine. Red wine and other communist beverages were banned […]
"There's one thing worse than stealing your housemate's fridge pizza," she said. "And that's eating warm sushi."
20 March, 2017. 14:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As the last of the Saturday night pinot gris dripped from her pores, an East Betoota glazier finally felt right again to stomach something last night – a slice of her housemate’s leftover supreme pizza. As there were five four slices left or half your standard pizza, Natalie […]
"He got what he deserved," he said.
16 March, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local alpaca farmer has confided in The Advocate this morning, explaining that his long road to ruin began after he was snapped in the men’s restroom of The Betoota Hotel using the urinal with his Wranglers wrapped around his ankles. Caught with his pants […]