Local 19-Year-Olds About To Get Married Surprisingly Not Christians

Local 19-Year-Olds About To Get Married Surprisingly Not Christians

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Timothy Camry and Marcia Blasket have been hearing that a lot in recent weeks. Though they’ve been exclusive for nearly three years now, they’re both still young enough to be arrested for enjoying a glass of chilled, wooded Chardonnay on a hot […]

Pantry Overflows With Weird Snacks After Housemate Does Groceries Blazed Again

Pantry Overflows With Weird Snacks After Housemate Does Groceries Blazed Again

LEROY PERCIVAL | Central-Coast Queensland Folk-Rock Editor | CONTACT A kitchen in Betootas brownstone district is overflowing this evening as one of its occupants went to the shops during the time between having a smoke after work and having dinner. Scottie Green, a fourth year apprentice sparky, decided to head to Woolies in the early evening after discovering Kelly, […]

BREAKING: Dad Looks Like He’s Been Listening To Springsteen Again

BREAKING: Dad Looks Like He’s Been Listening To Springsteen Again

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Though his coal mining days have long passed and his life is now full of one mild regret after another, Peter Grince’s children tell The Advocate that he often finds solace in the music of Bruce Springsteen. After he’s done listening to the Immortal Bard, the 67-year-old often looks disconnected from his surroundings. […]

Loyal QANTAS Customer Proud Of The Fact That He Pays More Tax Than The Entire Airline

Loyal QANTAS Customer Proud Of The Fact That He Pays More Tax Than The Entire Airline

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Despite claiming the odd few things he shouldn’t, and lying here and there when he lodges some of his returns, Sam Nicholson still pays a pretty reasonable amount of tax. As a secondary teacher in Betoota he gets some tax incentives as an employee in the public sphere, but overall he pays roughly 15-20 grand a […]

Refreshing Tracking Information Every 10 Mins Found To Make Parcels Arrive 20% Faster

Refreshing Tracking Information Every 10 Mins Found To Make Parcels Arrive 20% Faster

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact “I paid for express postage,” she said. “Where is my jacket? I ordered and paid for it on Monday and it still says it’s in Melbourne? Next working day my fucking arse!” Jenny Gilmour is pissed off. The 24-year-old wants to the Gorman jacket, currently sitting motionless in an Australia Post depot on […]

Report: Working In Advertising All Fun And Games Until Somebody Loses A Big Client

Report: Working In Advertising All Fun And Games Until Somebody Loses A Big Client

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The blame game has started down at Colenso BBDO’s South Betoota office this afternoon after news broke that local chainsaw and lawnmower retailer, Perry’s Husqvarna, has dropped them for another local agency. Short of being stabbed to death with a broken Ridell wine glass by John Singleton outside a popular steakhouse, the agency’s creative director […]

Amateur Theatre Company To Unapologetically Butcher ‘Cats’ For The Next 6 Weeks

Amateur Theatre Company To Unapologetically Butcher ‘Cats’ For The Next 6 Weeks

SHEILA BAKER | Theatre Critic | Contact The artistic director of the Betoota Grove Theatre Association (BGTA) announced today that there will be no formal apology made to Andrew Lloyd Webber after the group told reporters they plan to butcher his landmark musical ‘Cats’ for the next 6 weeks. Hyacinth Gynt, who’s been at the helm of BGTA for nearly a […]

1 2 3 73