Headlines

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A cool 39-year-old dude currently loitering around the front bar of one of Betoota's premiere nightclubs is looking for "some E" if you got any. The suspiciously athletic looking partygoer claims he just wants to chill out man and enjoy the vibes. He says he goes by the name of 'Zak' and is new to town, if you know where...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With everything going in the world today, a local Gen-Y finance consultant has still got time to sweat the small stuff. But it depends on how you define small stuff, says Hannah (28) Forget pandemics, wars, elections and global financial collapse. There's some burning questions that remain unanswered from the last millennium. Questions that still keeps Hannah up at night. Like, whatever...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local Nonna, Maria Esposito, has today got a bit more fire in her whisking elbow as she whips up the creamy polenta usually saved for special occassions. Her fifty-year-long cold war with another elderly Italian woman at the end of the street appears to be heating up, after today's most recent divulging of extremely sensitive information about the other...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Scotty From Marketing has been criticised over his response to Monday's nationwide March4Justice rallies, with the prime minister noting that the women protesting around Australia yesterday are lucky that the government didn't order any jackboots to shoot at them. Mr Morrison did not attend Monday's rally outside Parliament House in Canberra, where protesters called for action on sexual harassment...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT "We will get through this together!" shouted Bob Katter MP, as the crowd cheered. "These troubled times require input from every man and woman across this wide brown land!!" "... But nothing happens without you. We owe EVERYTHING to you, the women who turned up here today!!!!" The March4Justice protestors were just as surprised as the organisers of today's event were...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local semi-retired sporting goods retailer slash property investor, Royce Rodson (71) has this week stumbled across the kryptonite to his daughters and their leftie superpowers. According to the kids, 'woke' is a new form of youth lingo that describes someone who alert to injustice in society, especially racism. It is a mutation of the term 'awake' - meaning to have...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local hi-vis watering hole in Betoota's light industrial Flight Path District looks like the type of place you could find yourself in a bit of argy bargey. If that's what you were after. If the British backpackers working as topless waitresses on Friday afternoons weren't a good enough sign, the complimentary room temperature spring rolls in the VIP...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The mounting allegations of sexual assault levelled towards high ranking Federal government staffers and ministers is set to not longer be an issue, as of 19:00pm this evening. The same goes for this criticism the government is facing for the fact that Australia has had the slowest roll-out of vaccinations of any country in the developed world. This will no...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a couple hours of make-up appliance and costume changes, the Attorney-General has today finally nailed the choreography of one of his favourite dance sequences of all time. While confined to his Perth mansion on paid leave, Christian Porter MP has taken this indefinite stint away from work as the perfect opportunity to take up some hobbies that he's...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT IT'S TIME TO TAKE IT BACK: Prime Minister Morrison has today unveiled a $1.2 billion tourism package as part of its bid to drive economic recovery in the pandemic-hit industries of aviation and tourism. However, in true sports rorts fashion, it's only really the marginal seats that look to be getting a piece of the tourism stimulation pie. Places...