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Government Horribly Offended Rest Of World Now Aware Of How Few Fucks They Give About The Reef

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT China is being blamed for a proposal by The World Heritage Committee, which sits under UNESCO, to move the Great Barrier Reef to the 'endangered' list because of the impact of climate change Environment Minister Sussan Ley says Australia has been "blindsided" the recommendation, suggesting the decision was politically motivated, because everyone is picking on us for no reason...

Elderly Mt Druitt Woman Not Sure Why The Irish Republican Army Are Filming Videos At The Shops

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT 83-year-old Mount Druitt woman Niamh Kennedy had heard that violence was escalating once again in Northern Ireland during the pandemic, but she didn't expect to see it spilling over into her own backyard. This comes after a recent run to the grocery store, where she witnessed 30 grown men kitted out in sportswear and balaclavas delivering aggressive sermons to...

John Howard Says That Time Heaps Of Drunk Racists Went To Cronulla To Bash Arabs Wasn’t Racist

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT IF ANYTHING IT WAS ANTI-RACIST: The Former PM who dehumanised refugees with made-up stories that they were throwing their children overboard to increase their chances of asylum in Australia, has insisted there is no “underlying racism in this country" during an interview on the ABC’s Australia Talks program last night. John Howard made the comments while in conversation with...

Hungover Acting PM Moves Motion In Parliament House To Declare That Blue Is The Best Powerade

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS: George Christensen is the first LNP member to throw his support behind Barnaby Joyce in a bid to formally recognise 'Blue' as the superior Powerade. The retiring Dawson MP told 2GB he is calling on the Australian Government to do what is right and back the Nationals leader in his declaration “as a matter...

Acting PM: “That Might Do Us For The Day Gentlemen, What Do We Reckon? Mooseheads?”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Acting Prime Minister of Australia, Barnaby Joyce MP has decided that that's enough for today. At 10:30 this morning, the King Of New England went from a muzzled Nationals backbencher to the most powerful politician in Australia - in less than forty minutes. With Scott Morrison still locked down in post-travel quarantine for two more weeks, it seems that...

2 Days Into His 14 Day Quarantine, Scotty Begins Wondering If His Little UK Jaunt Was Worth It

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT 2 days into his 14 day isolation in Canberra, it seems Scott Morrison is being forced to reshuffle his Federal Cabinet - and has had no say in the matter. The Australian PM is now back in quarantine after a very self-indulgent to London where he got to hang out with Biden and Boris, while also striking up a...

The Deputy Prime Minister Of Australia: “I’m Back, You Cunts”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Minutes ago it was confirmed that the Member For New England, Barnaby Joyce has been named as the Leader of The National Party. Again. The Nationals leadership spill took place at 10:30am this morning, timing perfectly with the Prime Minister Scott Morrison entering his office for a zoom 'National Cabinet' meeting with the premiers. With the Liberals caught completely off-guard, a...

Dan Andrews Loyalist Considers Alternatives To Authoritarian Lockdown After Missing Dark Mofo

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Tasmanian health authorities have made the understandable decision to keep in place a restriction on Victorian tourists this weekend, as the Dark Mofo winter festival begins in Hobart. Even though restrictions have loosened in Melbourne, their residents are still banned from entering any states except for NSW, in what some would argue is a rational response to the Victorian...

Bloke At Queanbeyan Royal Arrested By NSW Fixated Persons Unit For Saying “Barra Is A Fukwit”

The NSW Fixated Persons United have rushed to abuse some human rights in a Queanbeyan beer garden today over a series of slightly derogatory remarks made about the NSW National Party leader John Barilaro this afternoon by a half-pissed semi-retired scaffolder named Nathan. The comments made by Natho revealed allegations of the NSW government being full of bloody crooks and were based...

“New York Is Back To Normal. Maybe They Had The Right Idea All Along?” Explains Gladys

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian isn't concerned, she says, about this latest so-called outbreak of a bad cold that's going round because places like New York City are pretty much back to how things were in the summer of 2019. "Yawn," she said as the state's chief medical officer Kerry Chant said there'd been a couple...

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