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Local Mum Convinced That She And Zoë Foster Blake Would Actually Be Best Friends If They Met

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In between snap lockdowns and an unexpected covidbaby, young Betoota Heights mother, Dani Pixley (40) has once again found herself exploring internalised hypotheticals in which Zoë Foster Blake and Hamish come over for dinner. It's not like fandom or a celebrity crush or anything like that, she just thinks that she would probably be able to provide the type...

Jab Roll-Out Targets To Now Be Referred To As Phases After Briefly Rebranding As Horizons

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After hiding out from the media for four days because everyone was trying to ask him questions that he was unable to answer without looking like an incompetent leader, Prime Minister Scott Morrison sacked up last Friday and hosted a press conference, where he mostly spoke about the State Of Origin. He then spent about four or five minutes...

Victoria Fear Growing Bondi Cluster Means They Can’t Say “You Don’t Know What We Went Through”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Victorians are believed to be growing worried that today's spike up to 31 new cases in Greater Sydney might result in the NSW lockdowns being extended to the point where they will no longer be able to demand sympathy for what they went through last year. This comes not even a week after Victorians were reportedly getting upset that...

Scotty From Marketing Finally Fronts Media After Hiding Out For 4 Days: “How Good Was Origin!”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After almost an entire week of radio silence, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has today held a press conference with the aim of distracting from his complete and utter failings when it comes to the jab roll-out. Fresh out of isolation after a self-indulgent trip to the UK to get photographed with Biden and Boris at a world leaders summit...

Brisbane Facing Critical Shortage Of Gone In 60 Seconds Blu-Rays As Premier Extends Lockdown

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT LOCKDOWN IS HARD ENOUGH: Brisbane residents are today reporting that the city's lockdown measures have impact the region's supply of high-definition video copies of the greatest action-heist films ever made. This comes as QLD records three new local cases, forcing Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk to extend the three-day snap lockdown for 24 hours the capital. Ms Palaszczuk said the lockdown would...

Greg Hunt Explains To PM That Prioritising Jab Roll-Out In Marginal Seats Might Be Last Straw

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Health Minister Greg Hunt has sat down with Prime Minister-In-Hiding Scott Morrison today to discuss how his latest dead-on-arrival plan might be the bullet in the head this country needs. Morrison’s coalition government has made illegal pork barrelling a centerpiece of their national policies, with the recent revelation that over $700 million dollars were spent on parking in marginal...

Melbourne Toff Fails To Convince QLD That Their Premier Is A Hysterical Traitor Who Hates Them

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Toorak man who talks like a character from a Jane Austen novel has failed dismally today in his efforts to convince the proud state of Queensland to revolt against their Premier. Convicted racist and prominent Shiraz-swilling conservative toff, Andrew Bolt, has taking his orders from Rupert Murdoch with great glee this week - and launched a full scale...

Loudest Cunts In Politics Going On Three Days Without A Media Appearance Or Public Statement

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In a haunting throwback to the time he took off to Hawaii in the middle of the Black Summer bushfires, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has gone AWOL again - as the weight of the bungled jab roll-out becomes too much for him to bare. Even the most biased Sky News reporters appear to be unable to refrain from criticising...

Nation Wondering How We Fucked Up So Badly That These Nutjobs Are Feeling Self-Righteous

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a week of abhorrent public health messaging from an absent Prime Minister, the growing army of lunatics who think that Bill Gates has created this pandemic to upgrade us with a microchip are starting to feel validated. Yesterday, the Queensland Government drew a line in the sand and refused to be carry any more blame for the Federal...

Katter Boys Tell Palaszczuk To Just Say The Word And They’ll Secure A Supply Of Federal Jabs

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT THE ISARRECTION: With 95% of Australians still yet to receive their jabs, the Federal Government has this week proven that are even capable of interweaving a healthy dose of discrimination into their public health programmes. Firstly, by going against expert medical advice to announce that he's opening up the AZ jab to people under 40 - after he realised...

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