Local Greek Debuts Flash New Backyard To Jealous Neighbours

"That's the story of Greeks in Australia. We came, we saw, concreted"

Local Greek Debuts Flash New Backyard To Jealous Neighbours

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local Greek, Spero Concretopolis, has today unveiled his new and improved backyard to his jealous, also Greek, neighbours. The Earlwood resident who works in fruit transport, has spent the last fortnight ‘sprucing up’ his 1900’s workers cottage. “It’s as smooth as glass, moit” he says while getting high on the […]

Ibis Birds To Be Renamed Bin-Chickens

"Once this bird is known as a bin-chicken, it will be much easier to begin a cull"

Ibis Birds To Be Renamed Bin-Chickens

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The street bird known as the Ibis will now be referred to as a ‘bin-chicken’ following direct action from the Minister for Agriculture. This follows a series of complaints from official Zoologists, who feel the word Ibis should not apply to the Australianised species. “Ibis is an African word […]

Extended Version Of Australia Day Lamb Ad Shows Arrival Of Vietnamese Community

Extended Version Of Australia Day Lamb Ad Shows Arrival Of Vietnamese Community

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The wildly popular Meat and Livestock Australia (MLA) lamb advertisement has been well-received right across Australia by revisionists and optimists alike. The advertisement, which shows three Indigenous Australians having a BBQ on the beach while having to keep expanding the event to accommodate all the various people — European settlers, immigrants […]

Man Driving 2014 Falcon With Suspiciously Large Antenna Apparently ‘Chasing Eccies’

"Do you know anywhere I would be able to purchase up to 13 and a half tablets of eccie?"

Man Driving 2014 Falcon With Suspiciously Large Antenna Apparently ‘Chasing Eccies’

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A caucasian male, driving a run-of-the-mill 2014 Ford Falcon XT with no notable modifications other than an extremely large antenna, is apparently looking to purchase ecstasy. While using notably outdated street lingo, the man, who claims to go by the name of ‘Jimmy’ has asked if anyone knows where he can buy […]

Aside From A Few Noisy Gelato Shops, Sydney Has Been Pretty Well Behaved, Says Baird

"We are working on it" he said,

Aside From A Few Noisy Gelato Shops, Sydney Has Been Pretty Well Behaved, Says Baird

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The NSW Premier says Sydney’s first weekend of 2017 has been one without drama, aside from a few noisy late-night frozen yoghurt and gelato stores in the CBD. Baird, who announced his war against night trade in 2014, says he is impressed with the results of the prohibition-style lock-out laws against alcohol […]

Q&A Mistakenly Invite Mitchell Starc As Another ‘Lefty’ Panel Guest For First Episode Back

Q&A Mistakenly Invite Mitchell Starc As Another ‘Lefty’ Panel Guest For First Episode Back

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With ABC’s Q&A expected to return to the screens around this February, ABC producers have been left red-faced today after it was revealed that they had accidentally booked Australian cricketing left-hander Mitchell Starc onto the panel for the first episode of 2017. Pre-existing rumours surrounding a hidden ABC left-wing agenda have all […]

Live Music Even Better Through A 1136 x 640 Pixel iPhone Screen, Says Gen-Y

Live Music Even Better Through A 1136 x 640 Pixel iPhone Screen, Says Gen-Y

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Watching your favourite local and international music acts is way better through a hand-sized mobile device, it has been confirmed. South Betoota Millenial, Declan Ballinger (24), says that when running out of iPhone battery ten minutes into Kendrick Lamar’s Brisbane tour made for a very disappointing night. “It just […]

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