Politics

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The soon-to-be-crowned Labor candidate for the electorate of Fowler in South-West Sydney has today shown just how committed she is to her local consistuents: By lowering herself to a photoshoot at a local rugby league club. Kristina Keneally, or Cabra Keneally as she is now known by the locals, says if she's learnt anything from her time in...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT All the critics who said a career Labor politician from Sydney's Northern Beaches wouldn't be able to code-switch into the safe South-West electorate she has been parachuted into were proven wrong today. This comes as the lower-house hopeful Kristina Keneally officially begins her election campaign in her 'new home' of Cabramatta. Rocking heavily shellacked finger nails and driving an...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Hoping the nation would be too distracted by everything else, the Prime Minister has set the record straight about his mysterious disappearance a month ago that saw him return with just a bit more going on up top. Some publishers & pundits speculated the PM had undergone elective hair transplant surgery which usually requires a few weeks of recovery...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The days of the Australian Labor Party being dictated by pale, stale and male career bureaucrats are over! This follows the news that the Las Vegas-born immigrant Kristina Keneally is set to run the ball up for lower house as an ALP candidate for Western Sydney. After twenty years of politickin' in and out of different NSW Labor factions,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Scotty From Marketing has today brought together the greatest marketing minds that the Hillsong faction of the Young Liberals have to offer. This comes after countless polls show that Scotty's severe incompetencies are managing to leak through the near impenetrable Murdoch protection racket that has done nothing but protect the voters from how any of his fuck ups. With...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Sydney-based Left-leaning witch hunt gang, the Independent Commission Against Corruption, will be among the last services to re-open in New South Wales as the government declares it to be largely un-essential to the running of the government. The corruption watchdog was shut down along with a number of other public services in June but will...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As was expected, Scotty From Marketing has refused to apologise for anyone who might've taken issue with the fact that he was able to flagrantly bounce in between closed borders to spend some time with his family on Father's day. Instead, Scotty has lost his temper and berated the media like he does every time he is under...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In revelations that have left plenty around the nation shaking their heads in disbelief, it's emerged that the Prime Minister has once again tried to sneak in a secret little family holiday without the nation knowing. Somehow learning nothing from his previous covert travel plans, Scotty from Marketing is facing questions this morning about why he thought it...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation's Head of Marketing is today doing his best to try and avoid another PR nightmare. Speaking at the opening of the National Summit on Women's Safety, the Prime Minister has fumbled his way through an admission that we need to do better as a nation when it comes to the treatment of women. The National Summit...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The embattled public servant working the front desk at Gold Coast Centrelink has finally cracked the shits with these dole bludgers today. As someone who is tasked with making sure struggling people get the financial aid they need to survive, Barb Blacklock says it's been a frustrating enough year for everyone working at Services Australia. But seeing retail...