Designated Drivers Advised To Steer Clear Of Nan’s Rum Balls

Designated Drivers Advised To Steer Clear Of Nan’s Rum Balls

Police have issued a warning to all designated drivers today: Stay away from Nan’s Rum Balls. The warning comes after a spate of DUI’s across the country, directly linked to consumption of the potent Christmas sweet. Diamantina Police Spokesperson Troy Pisasale confirmed that over 50 people have returned positive breath tests during the Christmas period. […]

“Gee Its Hot!” Says Baby Boomer Who Doesn’t Know What To Say To His Son’s Boyfriend

“Gee Its Hot!” Says Baby Boomer Who Doesn’t Know What To Say To His Son’s Boyfriend

KENT REGINALD | Entertainment | CONTACT A local Betoota man is trying his level best to have a conversation with his son’s boyfriend today, after both of them dropped by the family home for an early Christmas lunch this afternoon. Barry Bilson, 56, has always prided himself on being a good father to his son, also Barry. However, his […]

Issue With PayPol Easily Fixed With A Quick $10K Deposit Into Unrelated Westpac Account

Issue With PayPol Easily Fixed With A Quick $10K Deposit Into Unrelated Westpac Account

KENT REGINALD | Entertainment | CONTACT A local Betoota scam artist is waiting with bated breath today, after launching a brand new worldwide con involving sending people emails from financial giant ‘Poypal’. The man, who we interviewed on condition of anonymity, is optimistic that his latest scheme is a winner, and that most people would skim over the fact […]

Weekend Ruined By Adult Responsibilities

Weekend Ruined By Adult Responsibilities

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Betoota recruiter Paul Miller (28) has had to abandon his plans for a relaxing weekend upon realising he can no longer neglect his adult responsibilities. While Miller usually enjoys a weekend of late mornings and day drinking, even the chance of a sneaky couple of beers is looking unlikely as the 28-year-old […]

Clive Palmer Begins Firing M16 At Queensland Nickel Liquidators In Dramatic Final Stand

Clive Palmer Begins Firing M16 At Queensland Nickel Liquidators In Dramatic Final Stand

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Clive Palmer has been spotting wielding an M16 machine gun at on the top floor of his Coolum mansion today, while knocking off representatives from the liquidation agency probing into the collapse of Queensland nickel. The victims of this hail of gunfire say they will seek to have Clive Palmer found in contempt […]

Ch9 Executive Just Wishes He’d Been In A Position To Stop Burke When He Was Burke’s Boss

Ch9 Executive Just Wishes He’d Been In A Position To Stop Burke When He Was Burke’s Boss

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prominent ex-Channel Nine executive Daniel Gycker OAM says he has been rattled by the allegations made about Don Burke and published overnight in a joint Fairfax and ABC investigation. The former high-ranking Channel 9 boss has gone on the record to say that he always thought ‘Donnie was a bit suss’ and “possibly […]

Katter Calls For $120m Plebiscite On Whether Crocs Should Be Allowed To Eat North Queenslanders

Katter Calls For $120m Plebiscite On Whether Crocs Should Be Allowed To Eat North Queenslanders

KENT REGINALD | Entertainment | CONTACT Maverick MP Bob Katter has today renewed calls for a new $120 million plebiscite into whether crocodiles should be allowed to eat North Queenslanders or not. Katter stated, in a press release, that he believes it is every Australian’s right to have a say in whether or not North Queenslanders were worth keeping […]

No Campaign Blames Result On Lower Number Of No Voters

No Campaign Blames Result On Lower Number Of No Voters

In a decision that has shocked no one, over 70% of the Australian public voted in favour of legalising same sex marriage on the controversial postal survey. Across the country, the queer community and allies have joined together to celebrate the support against one of the last vestiges of inequality in the Australian constitution. One […]