Bill Clinton greens out at 9pm, hours earlier than predicted

"Am I dying?" asked the former president.

Bill Clinton greens out at 9pm, hours earlier than predicted

9 November, 2016. 11:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact CLINTON AIDES SWARMED to Bill’s side earlier tonight as he slumped forward in his seat and vomited all over his shoes. Cameras then observed the former president’s eyes roll back into his head and a gurgling noise was heard as he tried to swallow his […]

Stunned Local Dad Whispers “Holy Shit” While Using Computer To Make Burger

Stunned Local Dad Whispers “Holy Shit” While Using Computer To Make Burger

7 November, 2016 17:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Lionel Breakspear (53) of South Betoota reluctantly acquiesced to his daughter Sophie’s request to take her to McDonald’s for their father daughter Sunday luncheon before she returns to university for her exams. He quite simply didn’t believe me when I said you could now choose whatever you wanted […]

“Native American Culture Goes Hand-In-Hand With Flume” Says White Bloke From Bondi

"It's just something I feel deep down,"

“Native American Culture Goes Hand-In-Hand With Flume” Says White Bloke From Bondi

31 October, 2016 10:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With the summer festival season just around the corner, Bondi local Mike Green is slowly going over the discographies of a number of band’s expected to arrive in Australia over the next few months. ‘Greeny’ says he looks forward to letting loose over the summer break, and reaching a […]

ABS Chief Blames Census Crash On His Bloody Kids Downloading Viruses On Family Desktop

“Don’t blame me, blame my bloody kids,” he said.

ABS Chief Blames Census Crash On His Bloody Kids Downloading Viruses On Family Desktop

26 October 2016. 11:25 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Chief statistician of the Australian Bureau Of Statistics, David Kalisch, has told the Senate that the denial of service attacks on the census website were a result of his bloody kids downloading shit on the family desktop computer. “Don’t blame me, blame my bloody kids,” he said. “They know I […]

Promising Year 12 Student In The Midst Of HSC Exam Will Be Stripping In 18 Months

While sitting before the examination paper in her high school gymnasium, she realises that her natural intelligence, charisma and work ethic is not going to be enough for her to go to university.

Promising Year 12 Student In The Midst Of HSC Exam Will Be Stripping In 18 Months

11 October 2016. 15:25 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Promising year 12 student, Keira Birley (17) has just realised that her preparation for the Higher Schooling Certificate has been insufficient. While sitting before the examination paper in her high school gymnasium, she realises that her natural intelligence, charisma and work ethic is not going to be […]

Hundreds Of Beautiful Women Line Up To Buy Tickets For Australia’s Most Ordinary Rig Gala

Hundreds Of Beautiful Women Line Up To Buy Tickets For Australia’s Most Ordinary Rig Gala

10 October 2016. 13:25 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After scouring the country for Australia’s most Ordinary Rig, swimwear brand Budgy Smuggler has proven that the husky gent is far more romantically attractive than the Wahlberg-esque Calvin Klein model. Hundreds of beautiful women have camped out overnight to get their hands on the 2nd release […]