Flume’s Sydney Concert Held Up Waiting For Mum To Drop Off Spare USB From Newport

Flume’s Sydney Concert Held Up Waiting For Mum To Drop Off Spare USB From Newport

LEROY PERCIVAL | Music Editor | CONTACT It was panic stations in the high-rises and harbour-side mansions of Flumes management team recently as word spread that Flume, just hours before the first leg of his national tour, had left his USB stick at home. Tour promoter Jo ‘Money’ Baggs expressed his anger in an unofficial statement recently. “He has […]

Nation’s Hipsters Glad C.U.B Boycott Is Over, Can Now Return To Drinking Awful Beer

Banjo says he is very relieved to hear the boycott is over and can't wait to get stuck into a low-quality, mass-produced 'longie' of beer.

Nation’s Hipsters Glad C.U.B Boycott Is Over, Can Now Return To Drinking Awful Beer

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following a monumental win for for workers rights, the unions have today called for “an immediate end” to an ongoing boycott of Carlton United Brewers beer and cider products Earlier this year, thousands of people rallied in support of the workers, who fell under the controversial Catalyst Services Enterprise Agreement 2014, which was rolled out […]

Danny Green Calls Out ‘Cocky’ Kangaroo From Viral Video

"I just don't think this bloke should be given any airtime" said Green.

Danny Green Calls Out ‘Cocky’ Kangaroo From Viral Video

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The patron saint of being able to punch someone in the face with class, Perth boxer Danny Green, has today called out a cocky Kangaroo who has made international headlines this week after being punched in the face in a viral hunting video. The 4-year-old kangaroo, who goes by the name of Quentin, […]

Report Finds 70% Of Blokes Who Pass Out At House Parties Are People That No One Knows

"Either way I'm glad I don't know any of them and never have to see any of them again"

Report Finds 70% Of Blokes Who Pass Out At House Parties Are People That No One Knows

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent survey by the CSIRO has found that 70% of the people who drink until they are not conscious at Australian house parties, are the type of people who came with another group and no one really knows who they are. Proffesor Lote Meninga, from the Queensland laboratory says it’s an obscure […]

John Howard Apprehended Outside Peter Dutton’s Office Attempting To Save LNP

John Howard Apprehended Outside Peter Dutton’s Office Attempting To Save LNP

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Prime Minister John Howard has been apprehended by security guards outside of Peter Dutton MP’s electoral office this morning, as he attempted to save the great legacy of the Liberal National Party. The 77-year-old Order Of Australia recipient appeared to show complete disregard for the for the strict gun laws he […]

Acting PM Barnaby Joyce Drifts Off While Thinking About Christmas At Mooloolaba, Prawns

"I guess I've earned a bit of a break after this year's campaign. I'm rooted. It's like every day is the day after a hangover"

Acting PM Barnaby Joyce Drifts Off While Thinking About Christmas At Mooloolaba, Prawns

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Acting Prime Minister appeared rather distant during question time today, as he spent up to 45 minutes fantasising about the upcoming Joyce family Christmas at Mooloolaba. While Treasurer Scott Morrison sparred with opposition MP’s about plans for extra schools funding, the Member for New England began to drift off, while thinking […]

Bulimba Woman Treated For Stress After Backing Range Rover Over Daughter’s VW Golf

More to come.

Bulimba Woman Treated For Stress After Backing Range Rover Over Daughter’s VW Golf

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A south-east Brisbane mother of three is been treated for stress this afternoon, following an embarrassing school-pick-up-time incident. Ashley Quirk-Whitely was pulled from her precariously positioned Range Rover Sport by emergency crews, after the full-time-stay-at-home-mum accidentally reversed her suburban utility vehicle over the front of her teenage daughter’s soon-to-be first car, a […]

Report Finds Taking Photos Of Supermoon Not Nearly As Exciting As Eating One

Report Finds Taking Photos Of Supermoon Not Nearly As Exciting As Eating One

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite the fact that Australians have flooded social media with their photos of last night’s astronomical supermoon, a report has found that most of them would have had less fun than someone who ingested an ecstasy tablet of the same name. Last night, the full moon was 14 per cent bigger and 30 per cent brighter […]

BONGO KNOWS Revealed To Be Wikileaks Founder, Julian Assange

BONGO KNOWS Revealed To Be Wikileaks Founder, Julian Assange

WEDNELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT It can be revealed today that the service BONGO KNOWS is in fact operated by WikiLeaks founder, Julian Assange. Following a special investigation by the Advocate it is now known that the popular service among teenagers is run by Julian Assange and anonymous team members from his controversial whistle-blowing network, WikiLeaks. “Bongo Knows” […]

Accidentally eating a black jellybean still the worst thing to happen to man

"Vaccines and licorice cause autism." he said.

Accidentally eating a black jellybean still the worst thing to happen to man

10 November, 2016. 11:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact PETER GROSSHOLM DIDN’T just stumble upon Rosie O’Donnell’s sex tape, nor has he eaten any bad oysters lately. The 32-year-old people power campaigner accidently bit down on a black jellybean while catching up on Narcos in a darkened room. Thinking it was a delicious grape-flavoured purple bean, […]