Tropical Goth Praised For Commitment To Trench Coat On Townsville Esplanade

Tropical Goth Praised For Commitment To Trench Coat On Townsville Esplanade

LEROY PERCIVAL | Investigative | CONTACT A ‘tropical’ Goth from Far North Queensland has been praised today for his dedication to the dark, heavy clothing associated with his subculture, despite the very visible health affects it is causing him. The Cairns original and devoted fan of Nine Inch Nails and Joy Division has today been left cooked to a […]

Labor Hires Bernard Tomic To Count The Millions Wasted On NBN

Labor Hires Bernard Tomic To Count The Millions Wasted On NBN

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following the newly released ‘Cabinet Files’ –  based on an astonishing collection of files found in an abandoned filing cabinet in a second-hand shop in Canberra, the Labor party has been quick to steer any criticism from the young blokes that got killed filling roofs with insulation a few years back. This means the National […]

Local Restaurant Now Successful Enough To Have To Worry About Rich People Allergies

Local Restaurant Now Successful Enough To Have To Worry About Rich People Allergies

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A modern fusion restaurant in Betoota’s bustling inner-city suburb of Greviequa has today proudly declared that they are now so popular that they have to worry about made up allergies that rich people diagnose themselves with to feel alive. Having only opening in November last year, Australasia, has already been featured on a viral […]

Real Estate Agent With Degree In Sound Engineering Reckons Now Is A Great Time To Buy

Real Estate Agent With Degree In Sound Engineering Reckons Now Is A Great Time To Buy

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Despite looming concerns about the state of Australia’s housing market, one local Real Estate Agent assured us today that everything is going to be okay. “Now is a fantastic time to buy,” Angus Black told one of our reporters. “The market is booming. Absolutely booming. We are seeing year on year incredible returns […]

Local Girl Sends 83 Drunken Texts Explaining She Doesn’t Need Toxic People In Her Life

Local Girl Sends 83 Drunken Texts Explaining She Doesn’t Need Toxic People In Her Life

TRACEY BENDINGER | Social Nuances | Contact After making excuses to get out of an arranged dinner date, Sally Westington (27), sits at her Betoota Cove apartment drinking alone and scouring over social media. Unfortunately, her moment of bliss was cut short when the Virgo saw a photo of two of her best friends having dinner together – the […]