Wake Attendees Comforted By Arrival Of Spring Rolls

Wake Attendees Comforted By Arrival Of Spring Rolls

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Proving once and for all that every cloud has a silver lining, those mourning the untimely death of local second grade coach, Reginald “Reggie” Delaney, have been somewhat comforted by their loss with the inclusion of spring rolls at his wake. Helping himself to a plate of about 30 spring rolls, Delaney’s second-rower, […]

International Women’s Day: Local MRA Psyches Himself Up For Big Day On The Internet

International Women’s Day: Local MRA Psyches Himself Up For Big Day On The Internet

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the United Nations take the day to acknowledge the annual March 8th commemoration that International Women’s Day, one local men’s rights activist named Darren says he has chosen to boycott the date out in protest of the growing inequality faced by middle class Australian men. “Yeah. Get back to me when there’s a […]

New Baby Boomer-Themed GPS Tells Users How This All Used To Be Bush

New Baby Boomer-Themed GPS Tells Users How This All Used To Be Bush

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Global Positioning System (GPS) game has received a shake-up this week, with the arrival of the new Baby Boomer themed voice navigator. Pundits, however, are at odds as to whether the new Baby Boomer (BB) system will help or hinder motorists. The new program utilises the core data from Google Maps, […]

Majority Of Australian Worksite Accidents Found To Be She’ll-Be-Right-Related

Majority Of Australian Worksite Accidents Found To Be She’ll-Be-Right-Related

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent industry report has found that a vast majority of both minor, critical and fatal worksite injuries in Australia are directly related to someone saying ‘she’ll be right’ in the face of danger. As defined by the Small-Sized Suburban Construction Contractors Union (SSSCCU) defines ‘work accident’, ‘workplace accident’, ‘occupational accident’, or ‘accident […]

Does Mowing Down A Perfectly Aligned Puddle Make You A Bad Person?

Does Mowing Down A Perfectly Aligned Puddle Make You A Bad Person?

LEROY PERCIVAL | Central-Coast Queensland Folk-Rock Editor | CONTACT A local do-gooder has today faced one of her toughest moral dilemmas whilst driving to the shops this morning. As Theresa McKillop, Mother of 3 and grandmother of 2, drove down Betoota’s Main St following a solid downpour, she quickly calculated that she would be driving past a big juicy puddle at exactly the […]

Australian Pacific Islander Community Responsible For 90% Of All Crying Laugh Emojis

Australian Pacific Islander Community Responsible For 90% Of All Crying Laugh Emojis

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by Nielsen surveys regarding the social media behaviour of Australians has found that 90% of all crying laugh emojis posted from IP addresses located within this country have come Polynesian-Australian account holders. “What we have found, purely through analytics is that Samoan, Tongan, Cook Islander and Fijian Australians tend to […]