“It’s Sauce THEN Lettuce! You Stupid Old Cunt!” Yells Chris Smith’s New Boss
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Stood-down television and radio presenter Chris Smith has been yelled at by his new boss this afternoon for failing to put together a hamburger properly.
Smith has wasted no time finding new employment this week after allegedly disgracing himself yet again. This time at the Sky News Christmas Party, which is the latest in...
Greens Propose Radical Plan To Not Gift Taxpayer Money To Foreign-Owned Coal Companies Enjoying Record Profits Currently
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Greens have told their major party colleagues that they won't be joining in their jamboree with foreign-owned coal companies with leader Adam Bandt telling the media in Melbourne that he has a radical plan for compensating them should the price cap on coal and gas become law.
"Our plan is to not compensate them,"...
Melbournian On Queensland Holiday Asks Bartender If They Do “Man-Sized Glasses” When He Knows Full Well They Don’t Do Pints
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A Melbourne man on holiday up here in the nation's garden state has asked an Airlie Beach bartender if he "has any man-sized glasses out the back" when he knows full well that it's too fucken hot up here for pints.
Hailing from Melbourne's "Little Sydney" district, the South Yarra man prides himself on being...
Opinion: Isn’t It Easier For You To Resend Than Me Search My Inbox?
JESSE SHILLWORTH | Culture | CONTACTImproving workplace productivity should be the obsessive hobby of everyone with goals and a pulse.Just as our agricultural forebears looked to irrigation and horticultural domestication to refine their farming systems, we should look to daily WIP meetings and a #random channel on Slack to improve our financial harvest.Yes, our first farmers didn’t know it yet, but they were...
Advice Column | Cost-Effective Ways Of Shedding Staff Through A Terrible Work Place Culture
DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACTHi I’m Dr Chet Spevens, and as Australia’s leading divine channel business intuitive and financial life coach, I’m here to help your business reach its full potential.
One exciting way to do that is to reduce wage costs through staff shedding by taking your healthy work place culture and turning it toxic.This is a cost-effective...
Horny And Frugal Couple Commence Foreplay By Doing A Runner On Expensive Restaurant Dinner
DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACTA horny young couple have fornicated at home this evening shortly after doing a runner on an expensive dinner they enjoyed in Betoota’s famed French Quarter.
L’Arpége, a Michelin starred restaurant renowned for its unforgettable 13 course menu that will set you back $820 per person (without wine), was the venue from which the couple,...
“Weak As Piss” Laughs Boss Seeing Staff He Took To The Pub Last Night Struggling To Function Today
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
It's nearing the silly season's peak in Betoota with even the most dedicated workplaces taking to drinking on a school night.
One such office is the local branch of mid-tier domestic law firm, Minthurst Claypoon, who did their best last night to melt the corporate Amex card at the many licensed venues dotted throughout the...
Rugby’s Marketing Pigeon Proactively Touches Base With Eddie Jones Because Nobody Else Will Until It’s Too Late
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
One of the nation's greatest rugby minds, a common rock pigeon from Sydney, has told The Advocate that he's made contact with former England coach Eddie Jones this week because if he didn't do it, nobody else would at Rugby Australia until it was too late.
While it's not in the pigeon's department, it just...
Pokie Industry Dirt File On Dom Perrottet Just One Page Detailing The Five Times He’s Said “Tampon” Out Loud
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
One of the shadowy members of the New South Wales poker machine industry has confirmed to The Advocate that they're putting together a so-called "dirt file" on the state's premier.
The drastic action is in order to force Premier Dom Perrottet to back down on introducing new legislation aimed at preventing people from completely fucking...
PM Faces Tough Decision To Either Help Working Families Or Energy Producers
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Prime Minister is mulling a tough decision today to either put a cap on the price of power and make it more difficult for generators to generate record profits or just let them continue to price gouge working families herein.
From the steam room at The Lodge, Anthony Albanese FaceTimed our reporter to...
