Commuter On Hot Packed Train Wonders If It’s All Going To Be Worth It In The End

Commuter On Hot Packed Train Wonders If It’s All Going To Be Worth It In The End

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Another Monday, another late and crowed 7:34 am service on the Betoota MetroLine service into the Old City District. Denise Susans hit snooze enough times this morning to find herself without a seat and pressed up against the door. “I’m usually on the earlier train,” she said defeatedly. “But I think there’s some […]

No Activity Remake Confirms American Cops Also Talk Shit

No Activity Remake Confirms American Cops Also Talk Shit

Australia and the USA have always enjoyed a long-standing friendship. Bonding over Australia’s eagerness to follow America into whichever conflict takes their fancy in a particular decade and recent surges of far-right activists. However nothing has brought the two closer together than the realisation that both nations can identify with a pair of low ranking […]

Instagram Model Not Sure Why Photo Of Her Goofy Long-Term Boyfriend Didn’t Do Too Well

Instagram Model Not Sure Why Photo Of Her Goofy Long-Term Boyfriend Didn’t Do Too Well

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Betoota-based Instagram influencer / entrepreneur has today been left feeling underwhelmed, after learning that a photo of her long-term boyfriend doesn’t do as well as a photo of her in lingerie Alexis Rose, a 22-year-old non-agency model says she is bewildered by the response from her fan base. “I thought they were […]

Shopper Stumbles Across Chainsaw She Didn’t Know She Needed In Aldi’s ‘Aisle Of Dreams’

Shopper Stumbles Across Chainsaw She Didn’t Know She Needed In Aldi’s ‘Aisle Of Dreams’

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT We all have weaknesses. Gambling is a vice for some. Drinking for others. Some may struggle with a shopping addiction. Maddie Gibson is one such person who grapples with shopping addiction, but her shopping habit is a slightly peculiar one. Her weakness is Aldi’s fabled “Aisle of Dreams.” The Aisle of Dreams […]

Authorities Plead With Victorian Gun Owners To Not Shoot At “Major Weather Event” This Weekend

Authorities Plead With Victorian Gun Owners To Not Shoot At “Major Weather Event” This Weekend

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Just months after Floridanese police and sheriff departments had to ask citizens to not shoot at Hurricane Irma, a similar situation is currently unfolding in Victoria where thousands of gun owners plan to shoot the impending bad weather away. Owners of Victorian shotgun, centre and rimfire rifle, as well […]

“I’m Off The Pill” Says Blurry Ultrasound On Facebook

“I’m Off The Pill” Says Blurry Ultrasound On Facebook

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local woman has been off the pill while her partner has been going in raw, it has been confirmed. North Betoota physio, Shelley Bennet, hasn’t offered much explanation in the caption – but the sonograph that was made by sending pulses of ultrasound into her tissue has all but confirmed that she’s only […]

Normal Joke Made Funnier By Will Ferrell Yelling It

Normal Joke Made Funnier By Will Ferrell Yelling It

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With a lack of innovation and excessive claims of sexual assault plaguing the comedy industry, fans and comics alike are comforted by Will Ferrell’s loud delivery of an already funny joke. Known for his high-brow performances where he fights a female co-worker and rubs his testicles on a drum-kit, Will Ferrell’s greatest contribution […]

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