Mum Says Your New Haircut Will Look Even Better In A Couple Of Weeks

"Ohhhh! It looks different!"

Mum Says Your New Haircut Will Look Even Better In A Couple Of Weeks

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Without explicitly saying anything negative, your mum has just indicated that your new haircut is shit, over Skype. It didn’t take mum long to notice that something had happened to your hair, and after decoding her loving criticisms it is assumed that she thinks you’ve taken too much off […]

Local Fob Would Cop A Hiding If Mum Heard How He Talks Around His Aussie Mates

"But, man I love getting on the piss with them"

Local Fob Would Cop A Hiding If Mum Heard How He Talks Around His Aussie Mates

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The behaviour expected from someone who grew up in a strict South-Brisbane household doesn’t often go hand in hand with the behaviour expected from someone who cuts concrete for a living, as local fob Chanel Schuster (27) is well aware. While successfully living a double life between his Church-going family […]

Report Finds Food Buzzer Not Going Off Yet, Someone Must Have Knocked The Table

Report Finds Food Buzzer Not Going Off Yet, Someone Must Have Knocked The Table

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A new government study into anticipatory salivation has found that at least 70% of people who eat dinner or lunch at pubs with vibrating food pagers have experienced ‘phantom buzzing’. The new study, conducted by the Licensing Inquiries and Testing For Australian Management (LitFam) ombudsman, has found that thousands of Australian’s […]

Schooner Now At That Point Where You Could Finish It With One Big Sip, If You Need To

"Come on, mate. Put that one away. I'll get us another couple"

Schooner Now At That Point Where You Could Finish It With One Big Sip, If You Need To

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The ice cold, delicious schooner you bought five minutes ago is now at the capacity where you could finish it in one go, if you need to, it has been confirmed. If, on the off chance, you are in a position where you need to catch up, or go to another pub, […]

One Nation leaders host auditions to carefully vet potential QLD state candidates

It is believed that the hopeful candidates will be asked to describe their ideal world, give an oath to Pauline Hanson and take part in a talent show.

One Nation leaders host auditions to carefully vet potential QLD state candidates

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following the dismissal of One Nation’s candidate for the Queensland seat of Bundamba, currently held by ex-Labor minister Jo-Ann Miller, at the upcoming state election – the leaders of One Nation have all made their way to the heartland of their party. Ipswich, QLD. Dumped One Nation candidate Shan Ju Lin has hit […]

Idol Winner Casey Donavon Allegedly Racing For Pink Slips In Back Blocks Of Tamworth

Idol Winner Casey Donavon Allegedly Racing For Pink Slips In Back Blocks Of Tamworth

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT 13-years after Casey Donovan took out the second season of Australian Idol, the 28-year-old performer has taken on a new job that makes the most of her competitive edge. Illegal street racing. In a new interview with the Daily Telegraph, Donovan revealed she’s picked up work as an illegal drag racer in the North-West […]

Corporate Woman Adds Spice To Life By Only Dating Emotionally Stunted Degenerates

"I've been burnt before," the mid-level management consultant admitted.

Corporate Woman Adds Spice To Life By Only Dating Emotionally Stunted Degenerates

ESSIE BURKE | Human Interest | CONTACT A professional woman from a gentrified inner-city suburb has revealed she adds excitement to her life by dating emotionally stunted men, new social media posts reveal. Melanie Wiggs-Smythe, 33, said she sabotaged her otherwise comfortable middle-class existence by avoiding mature men seeking a long-term relationship. “I have a great job and […]

“Working On An App” Another Way Of Saying “I’m Unemployed But My Parents Are Rich”

“Working On An App” Another Way Of Saying “I’m Unemployed But My Parents Are Rich”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent survey of Gen-Y Australians has found that anyone who is currently ‘working on an app’ but have no real timeline of when it will be completed, are essentially doing nothing. A mobile app is a software application designed to run on mobile devices such as smartphones and tablet computers, providing both […]

Ex-Private Schoolers Vow To Never Snitch After Out-Of-Control Mate Smashes Letterbox

"If anyone finds out. We all go down" he says while they meet at a nearby soccer oval.

Ex-Private Schoolers Vow To Never Snitch After Out-Of-Control Mate Smashes Letterbox

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT While talking to each other as though they run an African-American criminal organisation in South Baltimore, four-to-five ex private school boys, aged between 24 and 28, have made a pact to never reveal to their parents or neighbours about what happened on Friday night. Alistair, Henry, Nicholas, Fraser and (maybe) William have assured […]

Local Dad Begins Annual Christmas Diet, Replaces Water With Eggnogg

Local Dad Begins Annual Christmas Diet, Replaces Water With Eggnogg

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local Dad, Antony Gardner (68) doesn’t think December 7 is too early to be firing up the egg nogg. Like many dad’s around the country, this is one of the few non-alcoholic beverages he will be drinking at home until new year’s eve. Eggnog, also known as egg milk punch is a rich, […]

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