CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT THE in-flight entertainment options on a domestic flight are limited to later seasons in obscure TV shows, it has been confirmed. Passengers can choose between low quality airline content or movies that were advertised a lot but critically panned – with the option wide open to begin watching a new […]
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A weird fast food chain that looks familiar, but isn’t, has spent the last twenty years only existing inside airports, and not doing any form of marketing. Although the coffee/smoothie/sandwich bar has similar branding to Gloria Jeans and Boost Juice, it’s overpriced products are quite shit, and they seem […]
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An over-the-top mate has started dishing out sack wacks on day two of a heavy bucks party trip, it has been confirmed. Some of the boys believe it is because of the fact that Luke can’t seem to drink as much as the rest of them, and therefore needs to take things […]
"Yer auld Micky Hamill showing the troops about Sydneh with my broad Glaswegian accent," he said. "Ozzies didnae have a clue what I was saying! Miss that man."
8 March, 2017. 12:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Having done his visa-extending time on a North Queensland banana farm this time last year, Connor Liston’s time in Australia is quickly coming to an end. Being a mix of homesick and too useless to sponsor, the 27-year-old is making all necessary preparations to make […]
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The mayor of Armidale in in New South Wales’ north-west has today declared that Betoota Bitter is the best thing to happen to their town since Dean Widders. Speaking to Channel 7 out front of the New England town’s McDonalds this morning, Councillor Herman Beyersdorf said that having Betoota Bitter on tap at […]
"Mate, I've had to hold in this for ages," he said. "It's so quiet in here, everybody would hear me break wind. Nobody would laugh, either.
3 March, 2017. 17:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After getting another rinsing from his wife about wasting money, a local coal seam gas worker walked into a North Betoota art gallery looking to invest his earning more wisely. However, the owner-operator of the Gumnut Cafe & Gallery on MacGuiver St thought Michael Craig was lost. […]
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Katie, a mild mannered local PR account director is actually an absolute sex pest when it comes to the deep dark archives of her girls-only group chat, it has been confirmed. While not often revealing too much about her degenerate Whatsapp alias, recent findings show that Katie and her friends are extremely vulgar, sexually charged […]
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report from the Australian Consumer Advocacy Group, CHOICE, has found that the average Apple genius bar employee is unable to hold a conversation that covers more than 2-3 non-Apple related discussion points. CHOICE spokesman, Professor Elle Hardie says that anything beyond ‘how ya going?’ is almost too much for most […]
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Uber passenger, Mark Madden has just jumped straight into the same fucking conversation he’s had twice a week for the last three years, today. The hospitality worker from Betoota’s Old Quarter found himself at a loss for conversation with an extremely chirpy Uber driver. Mark starts with the usual shit. “How long […]
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Rural, but town-based, teenager Leon Needham (14) is really enjoying life at the moment. He’s got a girlfriend, playing A’s rugby in the age group above and is discovering his flair with creative writing. Down at the river with his dad this afternoon, Leon starts thinking about life after […]