CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Rural, but town-based, teenager Leon Needham (14) is really enjoying life at the moment. He’s got a girlfriend, playing A’s rugby in the age group above and is discovering his flair with creative writing. Down at the river with his dad this afternoon, Leon starts thinking about life after […]
"No Mr Speaker," he said. "You can shove your request for me to take my sunglasses off up your arse."
9 February, 2016. 15:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The leader of the Opposition has shrugged off a number of personal attacks from the Prime Minister yesterday by choosing not to remove his sunglasses as he entered the House today. Bill Shorten was labelled a ‘parasite’ by Malcolm Turnbull yesterday amid a heated exchange […]
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT For 23 year old Hailey Gibbs, today has a been one tenacious struggle with a singular piece of meat lodged between two of her teeth. After an early lunch this morning it appears a seemingly inconsequential left over meal containing some roast pork, left Gibbs locked in a war of attrition lasting […]
"It's me against the world. But I'm going to start with the people that Donald Trump has told me are trying to hurt me"
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local Neo-Nazi, Chuck Hindenberg (17), has been radicalised to the point where he is toying with the idea of buying a gun and committing an unfortunate series of events for a political ideology Much like Islamist terrorists, Chuck has been groomed by online recruiters, who have brainwashed him into thinking that committing tragic circumstances […]
"I didn't expect you to understand it. Of course you don't understand it"
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local artist, Richie Benowski (29) says he didn’t spend eight years at art school to have to dignify your basic human understanding of aesthetics. “I didn’t expect you to understand it. I don’t give a fuck if anyone buys it” he spits, venomously. “That’s not why I do it… To appease the […]
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT School’s back! That means schoolteachers are back, too! Of course you would know this if you have even the remotest exposure to a schoolteacher. You would also know that they are so busy, like really under the pump. It’s almost like they haven’t just come back from eight weeks holidays. But, we […]
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The ‘ropeable’ people of Cootamundra in NSW’s Central-South-West have demanded all media outlets stop grossly misusing the nickname ‘The Don’ when describing American President Donald Trump. They believe it is bad for tourism, and say they are sick of clarifying to media outlets that their town is the birthplace […]
"Ohhhh! It looks different!"
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Without explicitly saying anything negative, your mum has just indicated that your new haircut is shit, over Skype. It didn’t take mum long to notice that something had happened to your hair, and after decoding her loving criticisms it is assumed that she thinks you’ve taken too much off […]
"But, man I love getting on the piss with them"
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The behaviour expected from someone who grew up in a strict South-Brisbane household doesn’t often go hand in hand with the behaviour expected from someone who cuts concrete for a living, as local fob Chanel Schuster (27) is well aware. While successfully living a double life between his Church-going family […]
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A new government study into anticipatory salivation has found that at least 70% of people who eat dinner or lunch at pubs with vibrating food pagers have experienced ‘phantom buzzing’. The new study, conducted by the Licensing Inquiries and Testing For Australian Management (LitFam) ombudsman, has found that thousands of Australian’s […]