Report: 89% Of Programming For Footy Panel Shows Based Around Waxing Ex-Players

Report: 89% Of Programming For Footy Panel Shows Based Around Waxing Ex-Players


A recent report by the ACMA has today found that AFL and NRL panel shows are almost solely dependent on the same gag.

After studying hundreds of hours of both Channel 9, 7 and FoxSports football variety shows, researchers have found that nothing is funnier than watching a blokey ex-player getting his chest waxed.

In partnership with Monash University, the Australian Communications and Media Authority believe that the entire format of footy panel shows would not exist if it weren’t for the nervousness of ex-footballers lying on a table at a beautician, and their subsequent response to the painful procedure.

“[laughter] It’s so so good,” said Macquarie Unversity Professor, Les Boyd.

“Even after seeing 1300 different blokes getting waxed, I still can’t get enough”

“No wonder it does so well”

Speaking to the media today, AFL Footy Show regular Sam Newman defended the hilarious joke format.

“There’s only so many ply-wood boards that we can make crowd members throw a ball through”

“The body waxing is a big part of our industry”

NRL Footy Show host, Paul Vautin, says the same.

“We can’t do arm wrestling anymore after Wendell snapped Rossy’s femur in half”

“Body waxing is the perfect, harmless little skit. Remember when my nipples bled!?”

“Like the other day for example, Channel 9 were making us interview Hollywood heart-throb Zac Efron, and we really had no other way to pull off the interview without making him wax Beau Ryan’s chest.”

The report has also found the remaining 11% of football panel show content is made up of in-depth commentary about the modern game – as well as hilarious skits that feature all-time footballing greats eating really hot chillies and talking about their missos.

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