Peter FitzSimons reveals he’s running out of historical events to write about

If rumours are true, the dad gift staple could be missing from under Christmas trees this year.

Peter FitzSimons reveals he’s running out of historical events to write about

18 March, 2016. 12:23

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF CHILDREN around Australia have had the perfect gift to give their Dad on birthdays, Father’s Days and Christmases for over a decade – and it’s all thanks to one man.

Peter FitzSimons.

Those days might be coming to an end after the former Wallaby revealed this morning that he’s running out of interesting historical events to write about.

“It’s hard to find something that’s interesting, topical, historical and above all, something that my publisher loves,” said FitzSimons.

“I’ve already done all the good ones,”

“It’s not like my column in the Herald or a speaking appearance, it’s much harder. I put my hand up and copped the flak when I wrote Batavia, I’ll admit that was really scraping the bottom of the interesting barrel but it got me off the hook.” he said.

Each book requires thousands of hours of research and planning, but for his latest idea, he’s already done it.

Allegedly, his latest proposition is a fly-on-the-wall gonzo account of his life on the road during the 1989 Wallabies tour of Europe.  

It’s rumoured title is Beer and Groaning in Saint-Germain, detailing what used to go on in rugby union before the big money contracts, gym sessions and smartphones. 

“I can’t confirm or talk about what I plan to publish next, you can speculate all you want,” he said. 

“But I need to get something out the door by August. If anybody reading this now has any ideas for me, hit me up on Twitter.” 

One concerned 23-year-old from Sydney has voiced his concerns over the possible shortage of Peter FitzSimons books this year, saying that his father loves his writing and seldom reads anything else.

Dylan Holbrook told The Advocate that there’s a shelf dedicated to the 54-year-old on his living room bookcase. 

“Dad’s got them all, From Tobruk to Fromelles. Most years I do the double whammy and throw in a pair of socks with the book,”

“I’ve been flicking through the Dymocks catalogue and there’s not much on if Petey doesn’t squeeze one out this year. Might have to get the old fella Anna Bligh’s autobiography. He’ll still say thank you and read it, maybe even throw out some Anna Bligh anecdotes over the dinner table – but he won’t have that excited sparkle in his eye if it’s not a FitzSimons book.”

4 Responses to "Peter FitzSimons reveals he’s running out of historical events to write about"

  1. Anon   March 20, 2016 at 4:41 pm

    Why does he wear the hijab? Hijab is for women

  2. Daniel   March 21, 2016 at 10:55 am

    why not write about crimes to the original Land Owners

  3. Anthony Abbott   March 22, 2016 at 1:49 am

    Peter FitzSimons could write several hundred books about my incredible leadership, Government and the National-building decisions I took while PM. My policy decisions are far more important for Australia than Gallipoli ever was.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.