LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
What was meant to be a fun event for anyone over 30 has turned into a nightmare for Michelle Handley (29) who managed to survive the family BBQ by pretending to go to the toilet in order to check her phone.
The BBQ in question was Handley’s first family event since splitting with her partner Sal, prompting all sorts of questions Handley was unprepared for in the wake of the Same Sex Marriage postal survey results.
These intrusive questions have forced her to seek refuge in her grandparent’s en suite to check her phone.
“People might think I have an STI but I don’t care. In here I don’t have to answer any of aunt Rhonda’s ‘gay questions’ and I have a chance to finally beat this Candy Crush level.”
Handley later revealed, ‘gay questions’ are not the only inquisitions she’s had to field at this family event.
“‘Do you think you’re ready to move on yet?’, ‘Do you miss her?’ Uncle Keith straight up asked if I was going to try dating a man this time! Honestly, if my grandparent’s didn’t have this bathroom I’d of drowned myself in the esky by now.”
Members of Handley’s family have their own opinions about why their niece/granddaughter/cousin made so many trips to the bathroom during the event. According to her Uncle Keith:
“It’s probably just that time of the month! Would explain why she is so grumpy too! Haha!”
“I don’t know if going to the toilet is a lesbian thing or anything, but if she’s smart she’ll give that bathroom a miss for a while because I was just there… and I was really tucking into Erma’s devilled eggs before if you know what I mean!”
More to come.