Local Millennial Experiencing Unimaginable Financial Security After Quitting Smashed Av

Local Millennial Experiencing Unimaginable Financial Security After Quitting Smashed Av

21 October 2016. 13:25

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Local millennial, Toby Campbell (24) says he can’t believe he’s spent so long blowing his income on vegetables and bread.

After giving up smashed avocado for an entire year, Toby says he can now afford things that he never would have dreamed of.

“It’s amazing. I now own an iPhone”

“Who would have known all I had to do was stop spending money on smashed av on toast. I used to eat that stuff a couple times a week because it was the only was I could console myself over the fact that I’m a member of the first generation in Western history that will live to see less than my parents,”

Campbell’s comments follow the now controversial article by Bernard Salt which suggested that the difference between baby boomers and Gen-Y was the fact that the older generations spent their youth focusing more on long term investments, such as the property, as opposed to spending ‘$22’ on smashed avocado with crumbled feta on five-grain toasted bread.

Toby says he 100% agrees.

“Look, I’m well aware that compared to 1985, the wages of a typical 50-something have grown by 34%. But the wages of a typical 20-something have only grown by 7%”

“I can also acknowledge that in the exact same period, the comparative amount of income you need to earn in order to buy a house has more than doubled…”

“But who would have known that I’d be able to catch up with the contemporary idea of the Australian dream by simply cutting back on the avocado on toast,”

Toby says now all he needs to do now is tie up a few loose ends when it comes to superannuation and health insurance. Much like the housing market, he feels this is something our generation need to be aware of.

“Now all I need to do is find a decent health insurer who won’t sting me with loading because I am outside the generation of law makers and CEO’s who legislate for themselves,”

“I’m thinking of splitting a good health plan with a couple of mates, like our generation does with rental properties. OurGo.co are offering some great deals on group-buying for health insurance,”

“Maybe I’ll be able to have kids by the time I’m 40”

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5 Responses to "Local Millennial Experiencing Unimaginable Financial Security After Quitting Smashed Av"

  1. Pudenda Non Grata   October 21, 2016 at 10:30 am

    I take it avocado is pricey downunder?
    A dime a dozen up here in the frozen wastelands of Soviet Canuckistan. Shipped in on the backs of Rio Grande wetbacks as they migrate to the True North Strong and Free. There is a reason the Yanks call us ‘Mexicans with sweaters’.
    We have 12 Grain Bread and nowt but the Greeks eat Foetid Cheese.

    Reply
  2. Avocado   October 21, 2016 at 11:32 am

    smashedavocado.bigcartel.com/product/make-smashed-avocado-affordable-again-hat-pre-order

    Reply
  3. Hugh Jorgan   October 21, 2016 at 12:05 pm

    That’s not a picture of an Aussie millennial, you can’t fool me.
    The licence plate has ‘GB’ on the side of it.
    I’m even beginning to wonder if any of your news reports are legit.

    Reply
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  5. Keith   October 31, 2016 at 11:34 am

    Like any tru-blu, fair-dinkum ‘strayan millenial, he lives in London

    Reply

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