10 November, 2016. 11:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
PETER GROSSHOLM DIDN’T just stumble upon Rosie O’Donnell’s sex tape, nor has he eaten any bad oysters lately.
The 32-year-old people power campaigner accidently bit down on a black jellybean while catching up on Narcos in a darkened room.
Thinking it was a delicious grape-flavoured purple bean, he popped in his mouth and started chewing.
Four seconds later, he knew he’d made a huge mistake.
Running for the door, he was caught short. His first little vom came up without much warning and plastered the living room door with the mango pop tarts he’d had for lunch.
Struggling to twist the vomit-slicked doorknob, Grossholm finally worked the lock and collapsed on the deck of his parents home, where he still lives.
“This is the worst thing that’s every happened to me, worse than the time I got caught by the police throwing rocks at cars as a boy.” he said.
“If I had a choice between getting flogged with a billy club down the cop shop or eating a black jellybean, I’d probably eat the jellybean. I’ve been hit in the head so many times, the government’s trying to take away my license.”
“I can’t hear out of my right ear.” he said.