16 July, 2016. 13:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
WITH THREE TEENAGE CHILDREN living under their roof, precious moments between quinquagenarian lovebirds David and Amy Davies are few and far between.
But just last night, after a nice dinner and a bottle of the second cheapest red on the menu, they came home to find their youngest still awake watching Simpsons reruns.
“To be honest, we didn’t even notice he was there.” remarked David, a 53-year-old semi-retired concrete engineer.
As fate would have it, 15-year-old Ryan was there.
Confiding in The Advocate this morning via Skype, he described what took place as his mother kicked off her shoes and led his father into the kitchen by the necktie.
Amy Davis was only 15 herself when she started seeing David, but that was back in 1978 – the same year The Rolling Stones released their instant classic, Beast of Burden.
“I tried to get away, I didn’t want them to notice me. It was a peculiar situation. One that won’t leave me for a long time,” said Ryan.
“They thought they were alone.”
The year nine student explained what happened next. Knowing full well that he and his two other siblings were ‘prog rock babies’ – a term coined to describe a child conceived during an extended binge on what’s now described as ‘classic rock’, Ryan knew what was about to go down.
“Dad put Beast of Burden by The Rolling Stones through my sister’s Bluetooth speakers in the kitchen. I didn’t even know he knew how to do that,” said Ryan.
“He grabbed Mum around the waist and pulled her close. She laughed and he rested his face on the nape of her neck. Oh Christ, I can see it now,”
“Mum let out a playful scream when David slapped her on the bum. He said ‘Do you like that?’ That episode was playing when Sideshow Bob hides out in that blimp with a nuclear bomb. Every time I hear or see that episode in the future, I’m going to remember this night,”
“I don’t know what yo think.”
Mercifully, Ryan’s parents retired to their bedroom minutes later. This gave him the opportunity to slink into the kitchen to steal one of his father’s ‘naughty drunk baby boomer cigarettes’ and retreat to the back yard, where he spent the rest of the night looking for Pokemon and battling headspins.