Todd Sampson Unable To Explain How Coasters Sometimes Get Stuck To Schooners

Todd Sampson Unable To Explain How Coasters Sometimes Get Stuck To Schooners

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Patrons at Betoota’s Lord Kidman Hotel stood in awe this afternoon as a local concreter, Rick (29), obliviously drank from a schooner glass with the coaster stuck to the bottom.

Rick, who was initially acting a bit shy in the spotlight, said he has no idea how it happened.

“Some of the punters were kind of into it… But some where giving me shit” he said.

“It’s actually happened before. So random”

While enjoying a few early arvo knocks off, Rick said he wasn’t even looking when his ice cold glass of Betoota Bitter brought the coaster up to his face for his third sip of the round.

“The moment I heard Ted ripping into me about my magnetic schooner I just pissed myself”

Witnesses say there was no sign of adhesive chemicals used

However, ABC presenter/adventurer/advertising guru Todd Sampson says that while the image of a coaster attached to a schooner is a fucking pisser, he is yet to find someone who can offer a brief explanation of why it happens.

“Listen, mate” he says, in his weird Australerican accent.

“No one knows how this happens. It doesn’t anywhere else in the world. It is a purely Australian phenomenon”

“Science is certainly my way of understanding the world and its complexities and intricacies,” Sampson told the Betoota Advocate.

“I am an incredible science enthusiast, and I encourage my kids to be science enthusiasts, and they both are. It’s not necessarily everyone’s way of understanding the world, but I believe in it so much I’m willing to put myself on the line for it.”

“But this coaster thing has got me fucked”

MORE TO COME.

If you enjoy drinking beer, and enjoy reading the Betoota Advocate, you should consider pressuring your local publican to put The Betoota Advocate’s very own beer on tap at your local. Support regional news through schooners. Go here for more information: BETOOTA BITTER

 

 

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