ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
IF YOU’VE EVER BEEN A bit slow off the mark in a northern Australian stockyard, chances are you’ve been called a ‘dough-banging cunt’ once or twice in your life.
But for Gulf Country stockman Nathan Decanter, he likes to put a bit of AC/DC behind his verbal insults.
“Yeah, joog. If you’re not light on your toes in my yards, I’ll give you the jigger,” he explained.
“First time on the bum, then I’ll try to get you on the spine – which can be a bit funny because it can send you legs a bit funny for a while. Then if I catch you again, I’m going for the back of the neck.”
“It’s pretty simple, mate. If you don’t bang dough in the yards, you won’t get electrocuted.”
Traditionally used by the bottom rung of stockperson, cattle jiggers deliver a short but sharp electric shock to help navigate beasts through a set of yards.
Proponents of low-stress handling openly loath the device, but all cattlemen agree that hitting dough-banging stockmen is perfectly acceptable, provided they don’t sook about it.
“That’s the worst, when they get all mundry with you,” explained the 29-year-old.
“I had this one sheila would clip clop up and down the race in her Ropers like she was browsing the selctions at her local Country Target, so needless to say, I got her with the jigger,”
“Next thing, I’m in the managers office being told that jigging sheilas is ‘a bit crook’. Nah well fuck ’em but. Equal pay for equal work. You don’t like getting smoked by a mickey bull, get out of the backyard. You don’t like running, get away from the race and hop in the roundyard, ya bastard.”
More to come.