First Home Buyer Hospitalised With Avocado Deficiency

First Home Buyer Hospitalised With Avocado Deficiency

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

After buying when the market is at its highest and the interest rates are at their lowest, a Sydney man collapsed this morning on his way to work – not because of the impending financial ruin that will befall him if interest rates go up, but because of an acute avocado deficiency.

William Cornwall, a 29-year-old working in the fast-paced financial sector, told doctors he’s been going without the popular stone fruit for years now in an effort to put together a meagre deposit for a Darlinghurst studio apartment.

A typical serving of avocado is rich in several B vitamins and vitamin K, with good content of vitamin C, vitamin E and potassium – all key to a happy and healthy life according to doctors.

Speaking to The Advocate about the dangers of going without avocados for extended periods of time, Dr Alice Kershaw from St Vincents Hospital said that she’s been seeing more and more young people being rushed to emergency with avocado deficiencies.

“It’s a worrying trend,” she said.

“Young people need to put their health and wellbeing before investing in volatile, over-valued assets such as the Sydney property market. We used to treat people for fatigue as most first-home buyers lose sleep over impending rate rises and the value of their property decreasing,”

“A lot of young people are stretching their arse to pay off a mortgage at record low rates. Imagine what’s going to happen if they go up? In my professional medical opinion, I would put avocado consumption above trying to enter the property market.”

More to come.

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