ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
In a survey conducted by The Advocate this morning, all nineteen of our respondents didn’t know that England has been thrashing Australia in the cricket – and neither of them particularly cared.
While some expressed shock that the national sport was now at rock bottom, all of them conceded that is wasn’t particularly surprising given the recent events that rocked cricket in this country to its absolute core.
Speaking exclusively to The Advocate, a local city worker explained that he didn’t know the ODI international series was on and that even if he knew it was on, he wouldn’t have tuned in.
Darcy Pearson, who hasn’t played a game of organised sports since it was compulsory back in high school, said the current state of cricket in Australia is a source of sadness for him.
“Yeah, look,” he prefaced as he breathed out heavily.
“It is what it is. The ball-tampering business has exposed a lot more than meets the eye. The blokes playing now have inherited a bed covered in shit. The bed-shitting that’s happened in cricket has been biblical. Honestly. Fucking sandpaper. What were they thinking?”
“There’s literally a million better things you could use to rough up a ball. Anyway. There was always going to be a period of rebuilding but it can’t get much worse. From my understanding, this is only the second time England has whitewashed Australia. The first being the arrival of the First Fleet in the summer series of 1787-88.”
None of the other respondents said anything worth reporting.
More to come.
